Drowning
by NoNoWriter
Summary: Being at the top of school hierarchy, it was Sasuke's 'duty' to make Naruto's life hell. Until the boy saved his life, leaving Sasuke to drown in feelings of regret. [SasuNaruSasu]AU.
1. Sorry, my mistake

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this fic and I don't make any money by writing this.

EDIT// Love goes to Chibibble for being the terminator of my typos!

* * *

-- 

"So _now_ you see it appropriate enough to apologise?" _Stab_.

--

He was on the top, simply because he was perfect in every way. It was the truth, no denying it. Everyone knew. Well, knew enough to know not to mess with Uchiha Sasuke. Of course, own carefulness was vital in a school with such strict hierarchy, but luck had something to do with not getting noticed as well.

Luck had not been on Uzumaki Naruto's side.

Naruto was too bright, too loud, too _happy_ to not to notice. He stuck out with his blond hair and orange clothing. Impossible to not to tease, bully. To make his life hell.

And that's exactly what Sasuke did. Make Naruto's life hell.

Because not only was the boy downright annoying, he came from low social class, being an orphan and without that much money. Money, along with looks and who you managed to befriend, pretty much marked your place in the school hierarchy. Welcome to the bottom, Uzumaki.

It wasn't like he had anything against Naruto personally, no, aside from the boy's name and where he came from, Sasuke knew nothing of him. Better not get too involved; better not look into the boy's eyes while beating the shit out of him. Tormenting Naruto was just means to keep his position, the top boy of the school, keeping everyone wary of him and make it that much easier for him to get whatever he wanted.

Besides, Naruto always stood up, after every beating, after every insult, every rejection, push, laugh and paper ball directed at him, and managed to smile. The perfect victim. No need to feel guilty, not that Sasuke was even capable of such petty feeling, when the boy just took the beatings and smiled.

Sasuke didn't understand why the boy would still smile, but he didn't need to understand. He only needed to try harder and make sure Naruto wouldn't smile the next time. But he did. It was something Sasuke couldn't take away. It was out of his power. He couldn't control it, the boy's eternal smile.

It was frustrating, especially after that one time when he had almost drowned the blond into the toilet and as he was just about to leave, leaving the dripping boy to gasp for air, Naruto smiled at him. Actually smiled after all he had done. And Sasuke had hated it so much, hated that smile directed at him so much that he beat Naruto up so good he couldn't smile anymore. Unconscious and into the hospital.

Naruto smiled again when he came back to school three days later. Sasuke didn't.

--

"You _disgust_ me, Uchiha" _Stab_.

--

Naruto was average looking guy with average grades. But that was enough for him. Although he tried, really tried, there was no need to be the best. No need for perfect grades. The ones he managed to get were good enough for him.

He had an average life, or maybe a little below average, but it wasn't that bad. Somehow he managed to support himself, living alone without any relatives, and that was kind of amazing, he thought. He'd be alright, knew how to look after himself in real life. Unlike those spoiled brats that went into his godforsaken school.

That was one of the thing Naruto wasn't too happy about his life; his school where his mortal enemy resided along with his evil spawn. But it couldn't be helped; there was nothing he could do to change that. Naruto was strong enough to take on all that crap. If it weren't him, someone else might be in his place and they might break, commit suicide even.

That's what he kept telling himself every time dark eyes locked with his. That, and that he was better than them. He wouldn't fight back violently. He couldn't afford that.

This went on for years.

--

"I didn't save your life because I thought you'd suddenly realise your mistakes. I did it because it's the _law_, Uchiha. Without it I'd just let you drown and rot in your own blood." _Stab_.

--

Sasuke didn't really like to party hard. He hated the feel of alcohol running down his throat. He hated the dizzy feeling it brought and the fact that he couldn't control his body perfectly. He hated teenager's obsession on getting drunk and that he had to take part in it because of who he was.

That's why he drank slowly why the others drank too fast, getting drunk in minimum time, not noticing that he wasn't. And when everyone was buzzed enough to not to notice that he was gone, he left. Always and every time. It was below him, really.

So, once again he had left his drunken associates behind and started his way home. It was already dark outside, dark and cold and he was alone. In a shadier neighbourhood he was used to hang around in. But he wasn't unnerved, what could happen? It's not like people would voluntarily be outside at that hour and in that weather. Besides Sasuke was more than capable of taking care of himself.

And yet the too long shadows and tiny suspicious noises made him want to run, run away fast and not to look back. But it would be undignified; he would not run but walk calmly all the way home.

There were three men ahead of him, slightly older than him, leering at his direction. Sense told him to change direction and get far away from them; pride told him to calmly walk past them, ignoring their very existence. Pride came first, it always won. Sasuke walked past them, ignored their flirting and shouting.

The hand that grabbed his, however, he could not ignore. There was a sickening sound and the man drew his hand away with a loud cry. Sasuke smirked, satisfied as he had managed to dislocate his fingers.

"You little bitch!"

Sasuke was ready, ready kick their sorry asses to the ground and spit on their faces. Even if there were three of them and only one of him; it would be enough, he was enough.

But he wasn't enough, as one of them had managed to land a punch to his stomach. The pain went strangely deep. As if he had been stabbed. Looking at his now blood covered stomach, he realised that that's exactly what it was. He had been stabbed and the man was standing above him, a bloody knife on his hand, leering.

"Take his valuables and let's get the fuck out of here."

And they left him there to die. It was dark and cold and the wound stung, but the worst at that moment was that he was alone. Dying alone in some dirty alley. He was trembling from cold maybe, or then from fear. He didn't want to die, not like this, not in a place like that. Not alone.

It became harder to breathe and harder to keep himself conscious. It became colder and colder and then, suddenly, warmer.

"Oh my God."

Someone wrapped their arms around him and it was so warm. Someone put pressure on his wound and it hurt even more but it was warm.

"H-hang in there, Sasuke! I'll call help."

It felt comforting, someone calling his name. It really didn't matter who it was, he wasn't alone anymore. Everything was all right now. He saw blue eyes before he lost consciousness.

--

"Having to breathe the same air as you, it _sickens_ me." _Stab_.

--

He woke up in a hospital, obviously. Or not, as he had really expected to die, not live. He felt drowsy and stiff and it wasn't nice. But hey, he was alive. He heard some rustling from beside his bed. Naruto was there.

Naruto kept reading some magazine, ignoring him. Ignoring, ignoring, until he couldn't ignore anymore as Sasuke insisted on keeping staring at him.

"What?"

Sasuke didn't say anything, just kept on staring.

"Don't worry; I'll leave as soon as your family gets here."

And Sasuke stared.

"Alright already! I'll leave your bastard ass alone."

Naruto was angry, pissed off and rose from the chair with a huff, ready to storm out of the room, but Sasuke grabbed his wrist. They stared and then Naruto sat back down, reaching for the magazine he had read earlier.

The silence was very, very awkward.

"Why are you here?"

"I said I'll leave if that's what you-"

"No, I just… Why?"

Naruto insisted on keeping his gaze on the magazine. Sasuke didn't feel comfortable looking at the other either, but the ceiling was only that interesting. Naruto seemed hesitant to answer.

"Because it's not nice being in a hospital all on your own; you know, everything's so white and every little sound echoes. People die in this building. Lying on a hospital bed all on your own… it's just not nice. I should know."

Blue eyes were staring at him now.

"You should know that I should know." _Stab_.

Sasuke's wound wasn't painful anymore. Something else was. It felt like he was drowning.

Naruto turned a page of the magazine, ignoring him again. He wasn't sure if he preferred the awkward company the blond was offering. At least he wasn't alone, it felt comforting…comforting enough to make up for the awkwardness.

The silence continued, turning more tolerable. The rustling sound the magazine made when Naruto turned a page was nice, almost tickling his ears. Nice and comforting, like Naruto's breathing. He almost fell asleep again, but there came a knock from the doorframe. His brother was there.

Naruto lifted his head to watch the approaching Uchiha. Rising up from the chair, he put the magazine away and started walking, passing the taller Uchiha as he went, not saying anything to either of them.

Sasuke's brother turned to look at the retreating blond.

"You're the one who saved him, I assume. Who are you?"

The boy didn't turn to look back, only continued his way out, not even stopping, not pausing for a minute.

"I'm a nobody."

The long haired man raised an eyebrow at that.

"Thank you for saving him."

But the blond didn't say anything, didn't even look back. He just walked away, disappearing from their sight.

"Do you know him, baby brother?"

Sasuke felt like he was drowning.

--

"There's no need to hurt your precious pride and apologize for someone like _me_. I wasn't expecting one from someone like _you_ anyway." _Stab._

--

Sasuke didn't like drowning. It was ugly, ugly feeling, weighing his mind. Naruto was the cause of it so he had to go to Naruto: to crawl at his feet, to apologize and to thank him, to toss away his pride and dignity. Just to get rid of that horrible feeling consuming him.

But Naruto wasn't ready to forgive him. He didn't want his '_thank you'_s and '_I'm sorry'_s. Didn't need them, despised them.

And as Naruto turned his back on him and started to walk away again, he was at a loss on what to do.

"You can hit me." _if it makes you feel better and forgive me._

Naruto stopped and turned around, his eyes narrowed. Naruto smiled a cold smile that made him almost shiver. He spat at Sasuke's feet and walked away.

Sasuke wasn't drowning anymore. He was suffocating.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

Tsk. I realise there are a lot of these kind of fics out there, but. But, but, but. I love guilty feeling Sasuke. :D

Yes, it's the best Sasuke there is.

Comment & Criticize!


	2. Please hate me

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

* * *

-- 

"Are you sorry for all those things that you did to another human being or that it led to those ugly feelings you can't stand?"

--

So heavy. It was almost impossible to fall asleep while feeling so heavy. He really hated that feeling. Hated Naruto for causing that feeling; hated himself for having that feeling. And after all that hate added to the already horrible feeling, he felt even worse.

Sasuke tried so hard to think of ways to make Naruto forgive him. He tried so hard to blame someone else, _anything else_, of his current situation. He blamed his friends for taking him drink in that poor excuse of a neighbourhood, blamed the men who almost killed him, blamed Naruto for having to be the person to save him.

But it was none of them, it was him, of course he knew that. Sasuke was at fault. For being a cold and ignorant person and now it was all crashing down on him. Filling him with something ugly he now knew had existed inside him for a long time.

Ignoring was so easy. Almost as easy as walking away from someone he had beaten up, not looking back. Because if he did look back, he'd see exactly what he had done. Sasuke saw it now. All those years, all those times…

And Naruto's blue eyes had looked at him with concern in them while he had held the bleeding Uchiha. Naruto didn't walk past him like he had done so many times.

It was so heavy. His whole body felt it and he curled into a ball on his bed.

It didn't help that his family liked to talk about the boy who had saved him.

'_Did you thank him, Sasuke?_'

'I_ wonder if he would accept a dinner invitation._'

His mother would smile. He couldn't smile. It was all crashing down and he was left under all that shit, unable to get out. Sleep didn't come that night.

--

"So you still can't look me into the eyes. Just like you couldn't every time you did those things to me. What's the matter? Afraid you'll see another human being in them and all the things you did to him?"

--

He hadn't really paid attention before, but Naruto did have friends. That's why the boy smiled, he smiled at them and they smiled at him. Of course the boy had someone to smile to; he'd be insane if he just smiled to himself all the time.

Why hadn't he noticed? Why didn't he pay attention?

'_Don't get too involved_.'

Naruto's friends didn't matter. They weren't popular but also not as bullied as Naruto. Why was that?

He saw someone push one of Naruto's friends. Naruto got angry and all the attention. Naruto was protecting them. He cared about his friends, got unnecessarily loud and took all that shit for them. And Sasuke wondered just how many times he had switched from the blond's friend to the blond himself for the exact same reason. Without noticing, perfectly all according to the blond's self destructing plan.

Naruto cared, cared about his friends, even about him on that cold street. Cared, cared, then, why didn't he care about himself? Why didn't he put himself before everything else, like most people did? Like Sasuke did.

The situation was about to evolve into what happened almost everyday, which he knew would lead to Naruto getting hurt.

"Stop."

Everyone stopped, froze at his command. Every surprised eye was turned to him, everyone's but Naruto's who kept his gaze on the floor.

"Come here Uzumaki."

Naruto's friends weren't smiling, unlike his. They were leering, a disgusting, sick smile on their faces as they watched the blond walk towards his beating. Did they enjoy it so much, watching someone get hurt? Had he enjoyed it?

Naruto stopped in front of him, his eyes staring directly at his and he wanted to look away. Look away and never look back. There wasn't any fear in them, there never had been. Naruto wasn't afraid of him or his hurtful words or his beatings. It was unnerving and almost made him afraid of the blond.

Sasuke kept staring back, refusing to look away, willing himself to look into the endless blue that held no emotion for him.

"I can make sure no one ever hurts you or your friends ever again if you're willing to forgive me."

He spoke in a low whisper, searching for an answer from those eyes. Naruto didn't say anything, just started to smile. And he felt a shiver run down his spine again. It was so cold, that smile. It didn't reach Naruto's eyes, which were holding another strong emotion now, he could see. Fury, disgust.

Naruto mouthed his answer. Sasuke didn't need to hear it; for the movement of his lips were enough.

_Fuck you_.

And again Sasuke was looking at the back of a retreating Naruto. The blond walked away with his friends and disappeared into the mass of people. Sasuke's own friends walked over to him, their gazes shifting between him and Naruto.

"What the hell was that?"

He had to tear his gaze away from the direction where Naruto had gone.

"No one hurts them anymore from now on. I'm sick of it."

There were gasps and surprised faces. Then some disapproving grunts and complaining.

"What the fuck! So suddenly?"

"What happened, Uchiha?"

"You can't be serious!"

He slammed one of them against a locker; the boy's back colliding against it painfully. The others jumped back, looking scared when the boy let out a loud cry of pain when Sasuke's fingers dug more into his shoulder.

"Do you have a problem with what I say? Would you like to be the replacement, because that can be arranged, trust me."

The boy shook his head vigorously, looking scared. But Sasuke didn't let go. He felt like punching the boy. Felt like beating the shit out of him for being a disgusting punk who just went along with what everyone else said.

But he wasn't any better. Sasuke was even worse.

He let go of the boy who moved away from him instantly. Going over to his other startled friends. He stared at them, the group who called themselves Uchiha Sasuke's friends. And they looked back at him warily, some laughing nervously, some too afraid to look into his eyes.

Naruto didn't look at him warily, Naruto wasn't afraid of him; Naruto always looked straight into his eyes. And Naruto was out of his reach because of all the things he had done, thinking that none of it mattered. Thinking it was only natural that things were the way they were.

A new ugly feeling was added to his collection. He was drowning again.

--

"Don't flatter yourself, Uchiha. I don't feel something as strong as hate towards you. You're not worth the energy."

--

"Figures it would be you who called me up to the roof."

There was a sound of distaste in Naruto's tone. But Naruto was there, he actually came and they were alone in a place he knew no one would interrupt them.

"They'll leave you alone from now on."

"And all it took was to save your pathetic little ass. Gee, I should've done it years ago."

"Look, I'll do anything, just-"

"I want _nothing_ from you, Uchiha."

"I can help you get better grades."

"I don't need your help in _anything_."

"I have money-"

A dry laugh.

"Go buy yourself a fucking whore. She might forgive everything you do to her for the right amount."

He was running out of ideas, feeling panicky and desperate. He walked closer to Naruto, standing in front of him, hoping that he appeared to be as stoic as he always was.

"I know that you hate me but-"

Naruto looked amused; only, there was no humour in his eyes. Like a cat watching it's prey slowly die in front of it.

"I don't hate you."

Naruto raised his hand, cupping Sasuke's cheek with it. His hand was cold, feeling unpleasant against his warm skin. The hand was rough and cold and Sasuke didn't want to know why it was placed against his cheek.

Naruto's eyes were cold, just like his voice when he whispered, looking into his eyes to make a point that he meant every word he said.

"I feel nothing. You mean nothing to me, Uchiha. Nothing special, just one of the trash who enjoy doing sick things to others. The idea of people like you repulses me, not you in particular."

Sasuke's heart sunk even lower. At some point he had thought he was everything to Naruto. Everything Naruto hated. Everything Naruto wanted to avoid happening to him. He had thought that his presence alone had consumed Naruto's life at school, making him wary of him; look over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't there. Hated him with a passion, thought about Sasuke almost all the time, even if it was in a negative manner.

But Sasuke was nothing, had never been nothing but trash to the boy. And if Sasuke as a person didn't mean anything to Naruto, then his words meant even less…his apologies would be meaningless; Naruto would never forgive him.

Sasuke would continue to drown until his entire being was filled with it, never giving him a rest. Never letting him sleep again.

Naruto let his hand slip down from Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke didn't say anything. He was out of offers and apologies. They were all useless anyway, he understood that now better than ever before.

And he felt angry. So angry towards himself for being so stupid and towards Naruto who said those hurtful things, making him see things more clearly. Making him feel more strongly.

"Then what does it take to get rid of these feelings!?"

He wasn't one to loose control, but it was painful. It hurt and hurt and it was turning more physical, making his body tremble and his head hurt. Naruto should hate him, why didn't he hate him? It would be so much easier! He would feel better if he was hated after all he had done. If Naruto felt something for him.

_Hate me_.

Sasuke fisted his hand, knuckles turning white. Naruto noticed it but didn't react.

"Do I have to get on my fucking _knees_ and _beg_!?"

He punched the blond into the face. Naruto fell to the ground from the impact, Sasuke soon following behind, straddling Naruto, keeping his fist in the air, ready to land a second punch. Naruto made no movement to stop it. It landed with a sick sound. Sasuke's knuckles hurt.

_Hate me_.

"Do I have to beat it into your fucking skull that I'm sorry!?"

Naruto's face showed no pain. He just kept staring at Sasuke passively, eyes locked with Sasuke's. It hurt, Sasuke didn't want to look, but couldn't look away. Naruto was staring at him and he was doing something horrible again. It felt awful, that feeling.

_Please hate me!_

"Why won't you fight back!? Why don't you just kick my face until no one can tell it's me anymore!?"

His hand was trembling and he didn't feel like hitting anymore. Naruto's left cheek was red and bloody, just like his lips. Cut and dripping with blood.

"Because I literally can't afford to do that. You should know that, isn't it the reason I'm on the bottom in this stupid hierarchy thing?"

Naruto pushed Sasuke off of him, wiping the blood onto his sleeve.

"Besides, beating people senselessly, I'd risk becoming as empty as you."

Naruto stood up, once again preparing to walk away from Sasuke. But not before turning to look at the dark haired boy one last time. Sasuke didn't like the look in his eyes.

"I pity you, Uchiha."

The door to the roof closed and Sasuke was alone, slumped on the ground, defeated.

Sasuke shook his head. Defeat wasn't in his dictionary. Uchiha Sasuke didn't _lose_. Not to anyone, not to Naruto, not to those consuming feelings.

Sasuke would never be defeated.

But then, why was it so hard to try and stand up again?

* * *

_To be continued..._

Don't you just feel the love between them already? XD

Comment & Criticize!


	3. Just a little more

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

-- 

"Only fools feel guilt, little brother. It means you've done stupid decisions without thinking things through."

--

Naruto was no saint, he was aware. In fact, he was a horrible person if he let anger take control of him. That had happened before, the sight wasn't pretty. His short temper didn't help either. Or the fact that people were constantly provoking him in school.

It was so hard to just turn the other cheek. He wanted to punch them, wanted to kick them so hard their bones crushed and hear them cry out some incoherent name, desperate for someone to save them. Naruto could be that monster if he wanted to.

Really, really could and his bullies were walking on very thin ice. All that anger and frustration build up in his body to a point he was ready to explode.

But he didn't want that, didn't want to be like them, like Sasuke. It was all so frustrating, wanting to fight back but not wanting at the same time. Didn't want to sink on their level, didn't want any trouble in school, didn't want to get sued by their families. Naruto was so angry and frustrated all the time.

That's why he ran. Ran, ran, ran to everywhere. Around the city and then back again and across the street. Everywhere.

_Ran his problems away._

It was refreshing and helped to get rid of all the aggressive feelings. He ran until his body was too tired to even draw more air in and his legs felt like they would snap in half, he ran until he didn't feel like screaming his lungs out or punching someone's face in.

He had to stop to take a quick rest. Home was far away now and it would be a shame to not be able to get back there just because his legs gave out and he passed out in some ditch. It was getting cold outside, making his hands even colder that they usually were.

Cold hands equals a warm heart, he remembered someone saying.

Naruto almost laughed out loud. He wasn't warm hearted, he wasn't kind. The mind games he kept playing with the Uchiha were a proof of it. Naruto was a sick bastard and actually enjoyed watching the boy look at him in despair, begging for him to forgive him. It felt so good to finally make the other suffer. Payback was a bitch.

What made it even better was that he didn't have to get physical to deliver exactly what the bratty prince had coming for him. Words were his only usable weapon against the Uchiha. And they were working, working so well, hitting deep, leaving his nemesis to try and tend to the psychological wounds.

The best part was that it was only Naruto's forgiveness that would heal the boy, to make him feel better about himself. And it felt so good!

Though, Naruto was more than aware that his feelings were like if you kicked a puppy after it had bit you, feeling proud of your actions. It was childish and stupid and if he kept it on for too long, he would be the one drowning in remorse. He'd have to stop before he went too far, like Sasuke had done.

_Just a little more_, he kept telling himself._ Just a little more. Make the bastard suffer because of all the things he had done_.

And Naruto was running again.

--

"You did those decisions for years and now it led you to this? You must be a real retard then, little brother. How disappointing."

--

There really was no way to get Naruto to forgive him. Bribing, begging, hitting (which had been an idiotic thing to do) and nothing worked. And every time he thought about it, he felt frustrated, annoyed that the blond had to be so difficult. It couldn't be that hard, forgiving.

But then he would think of all the things he had done, all those years, all those times. And it stung. He wouldn't forgive, why would Naruto forgive? In time maybe, but what would that time do to Sasuke? Naruto would heal slowly while he was left to rot, disgusted with himself. It wasn't fair, _nothing_ was fair.

Sasuke wanted to feel better _now_, wanted to forget and get a good night sleep. But it wasn't possible. Of course it wasn't. It was his fault for being so ignorant for all those years. Not caring, not thinking that it would all come back to haunt him. And Sasuke swore, swore to himself not to repeat the same mistakes again.

_Never again_.

Never again, never ever again, but it was already too late. Without him realising it, everything had shifted from his control into Naruto's hands. Naruto was in control now. It was so hard to chew and swallow.

And he hadn't even touched his food when his father and brother excused themselves from the table, leaving only him and his mother who just wouldn't stop staring.

She smiled softly, starting to gather the dishes from the table.

"It's never meaningless to apologise."

Sasuke's gaze snapped from the plate to his mother who was still smiling.

"How did you know?"

"Well, you looked kind of pathetic during lunch."

"Don't say that."

A soft laugh.

"But it's the truth. So, what's burdening your mind?"

Sasuke sighed. He didn't like to talk about his problems, not to his mother, not to anyone. It was better to keep them inside him, until they built up and he would beat something, _someone_, making him feel better again. Temporarily. Like drugs.

He shook his head and buried his face into his hands, muttering.

"Apologies won't work. _Nothing_ works."

"Apology isn't just a word you can use to make everything all right, Sasuke. It's a gesture to make the other person understand you really mean it and not just repeating words you hope will make yourself feel better."

Sasuke was silent. His mother huffed.

"Why don't I make a treat to them and you can take it to them as a peace offering?"

He cocked an eyebrow.

"You want me to bribe him with food?"

His mother waved a dismissing hand and went into the kitchen to prepare something. Sasuke smiled.

"Thanks, mom."

--

"I may have said pathetic, but it really looked like you wanted to cry. I don't want my baby boy to cry."

--

The night was cold and it was raining. He didn't really know why his mother had ushered him out in that weather to deliver the food Naruto would probably just throw back at his face. But maybe it was better to go and try right away; maybe he'd be able to sleep that night.

He had somehow gotten a hold of Naruto's address, thinking about turning around and going back home in every turn he had to take on his way there. Too soon, way too soon he was there, having parked his car outside the building. Slowly, he got out of the car, into the rain which he didn't even notice. Even if it was freezing cold, making his hair fall into his eyes and his body shiver from the cold.

He took three steps towards the building, then stopped, turned around, two steps back, stopped, turned around. Pacing, trying to gather the courage to actually go to his humiliation and verbal beating.

This was Naruto's home, what right did someone like him to go there and disturb his peace? Wouldn't it only prove that he couldn't leave the boy alone even after school, harassing him throughout the day, never giving it a rest.

Naruto would be angry and hurt and his chances on feeling better would drop even lower. But his mother had said it was all right, everything would be all right in the end. He doubted it, but he should try nevertheless. Why wouldn't his legs move?

"What the hell are you doing here?"

The voice startled him. Turning his head to the right, he saw Naruto. Wet and huffing and not wearing enough clothing for such weather. Not one reason why Naruto would be outside on this hour, in this weather, came to his mind. Maybe the boy was simply insane.

"Didn't you hear me or did the rain freeze your brain?"

He really wanted to answer with a hurtful remark, but that wasn't why he was here. No insulting, no hurting. Not anymore.

Sasuke's gaze shifted from Naruto to the box his mother had made for the boy.

"You actually came all this way to bribe me with something? That's just sad."

Naruto didn't look amused, not amused at all. He watched between the offending package in his hands and Sasuke.

"No, my mother made this for you. I just-"

"Oh."

Naruto came closer and accepted the gift. The silence was awkward and heavy and he felt like leaving. Naruto didn't agree though.

"Come on then."

The blond motioned towards his apartment, making Sasuke's eyes grow a bit wider.

"No, it's alright-"

"I said you're coming! I can't just leave you here in the rain to catch pneumonia or something."

Sasuke tried to resist but Naruto's grip on his wrist was too strong and the boy seemed determined to actually invite him into his home and make him feel warmer. And Naruto was caring again, caring too much and caring for wrong people. Unworthy people.

The door was opened and Sasuke yanked inside harshly, almost making him loose balance. And when the door closed behind them, he suddenly felt like he was alone in enemy territory without weapons or any means of survival.

A towel was thrown into his face, an unfamiliar smell invading his nose. And then the bath was filled and Naruto was naked and he had no idea what was going on. Or why he had ended up in the bathtub together with Naruto.

Panic and confusion had taken over, overpowering the constant heavy feeling, leaving him with zero functional brain cells. The tub was so small and he had to scoot into the corner to not to touch the boy next to him.

Maybe the other was planning to drown him, to rape him. Disposing of his body by cutting it in so tiny pieces they could be flushed down the drain. Naruto had every reason to, every right to do that. And Sasuke was unnerved.

But the water was warm.

Naruto was unwrapping the box and he briefly wondered if it was normal to eat in a bathtub.

"So what's all this for?"

"…A peace offering."

He mumbled and wanted to sink further into the water, maybe drown himself before the blond had the change to.

Naruto opened the box and was greeted by good looking treats. If Sasuke hadn't been so mortified of the current situation he had somehow managed to get into, he would have noticed a small glint in Naruto's eyes.

Beside him, Naruto was struggling to keep his amusement to himself. Sasuke was so uncomfortable, it almost radiated from him and Naruto was having the time of his life. Sasuke was right there, at his mercy, so vulnerable at the moment. All the aces were on his hand and there was nothing Sasuke could do about it. Well, except maybe dash out of the house buck naked, into the cold rain and dark night. Not that Naruto had the heart to let it actually go that far.

_Just a little more. The bastard had it coming_.

He grabbed something small and strawberry-ish from the box and bobbed it into his mouth.

"It's good."

Sasuke had sunk into the water, only his eyes and that oddly shaped hair above the surface and for a moment, Naruto thought the boy was actually trying to drown himself. But that wasn't the case as the boy beside him slowly raised his nose above the surface, breathed a couple of times and then sank in again.

His dark eyes looked at Naruto when he spoke.

"Your mother's cooking."

And Sasuke raised enough that his lips were above the surface.

"I know."

Silence.

"You're lucky."

Silence.

"I know."

The food was good, really was. And Sasuke was lucky to have a mother who cooked so good food for him. Well, Naruto had a mother too, but thinking about that woman would make his mood sourer, making it more difficult to linger on that childish satisfaction on revenging Sasuke at the moment.

But Sasuke was so damn lucky. It wasn't fair. Naruto felt irritated again._Calm down, calm down, no need to get angry over nothing_.

"I'm sorry."

Sasuke's voice broke the silence.

Naruto didn't look at the boy beside him_. Just a little more._

"Sorry about what?"

"About everything."

"Do you even remember what _everything_ consisted of?"

Sasuke didn't answer.

"Of course you wouldn't, it was insignificant for you."

Naruto wasn't affected, but Sasuke had known that already. What would make his apologies more than just meaningless words to the boy?

"You do realise that the things you do might break people? It kills."

The water was losing temperature.

"So, aren't you glad it didn't kill me? It would be such a heavy weight to carry. Who'd you apologise to then?"

"Do you enjoy making me feel even worse about myself?"

He didn't mean to say that, it just blurted out and he wanted to sink again. Something like that couldn't possibly make his situation any better. But Naruto was laughing, really, really laughing beside him and Sasuke wasn't sure what to think.

"Yes."

The laugh wasn't cold but humorous. Naruto probably found his misery funny and that didn't feel nice at all.

"You're a sick little bastard."

Sasuke said half-heartedly, hoping the blond wouldn't hear it or take it too seriously.

"Takes one to know one."

Sasuke felt his lips twist a little.

"I suppose."

Naruto kept on munching and Sasuke felt more comfortable about the situation and the water kept losing temperature. It almost felt like everything was fine. And even if it wasn't, he felt like it was worth fooling himself for the little while he spent with the blond in the small bathtub, both naked and both on the same level. Like equals.

And it felt nice. Actually nice. Because Naruto was everything his friends weren't. Something new and refreshing. Caring and true. And he shouldn't fool himself in thinking something stupid like they could change their relationship into this.

_Just a little while longer_.

Naruto got out of the tub, grabbing a towel, looking at Sasuke like he should follow the example. The water would get cold soon; they had been in too long anyway. Sasuke took the towel Naruto had thrown in his face earlier and started to dry himself.

Naruto had brought him some dry clothes since his own were still wet from the rain. He was hesitant to put them on, trying to argue that he could really wear his own, but Naruto's worried gaze promised him hell if he didn't comply.

Putting his damp clothes into a plastic bag along with the Tupperware his mother had packed the food in, Naruto handed it over to Sasuke.

"There you go. Say thanks to your mother from me."

Taking the bag, Sasuke nodded. There was an odd smile on Naruto's face. Not cold and sadistic like he was used to see. It wasn't bright and friendly either. Calm and somewhat ominous, Sasuke didn't like it.

Naruto walked him to the door.

"Oh, and this little incident doesn't mean we're friends or pals or bathtub buddies."

He couldn't see Naruto's eyes; the boy was squinting, making the smile seem more forced…it didn't suit the boy, he thought, but then, what did he know about what suited the boy and what didn't?

"It doesn't mean I'll just get over the grudge I have for you. I just hope you're feeling a little better about yourself."

The blond grabbed an umbrella, handing it over to him, that unnerving smile still intact.

"Now, get out of my life."

Sasuke wanted to laugh. A desperate, bitter laugh.

Sasuke didn't laugh. Naruto's eyes weren't smiling.

His expression saying nothing more than to just stay away from him, to not to associate with him anymore, to get the hell away and stay there.

"Good bye, Uchiha."

The door closed to his face. Opening the umbrella, Sasuke looked at the sky.

Would the cold rain ever stop?

* * *

_ To Be Continued..._

This chapter wasn't nearly as good as the two others, we are aware of that. But hey, they didn't say _fuck_ or _fucking_ in this chapter at all, I think.

About boys and nekkidness. Why do people write Naruto to be embarrassed of being naked in front of another male? I mean, from what I know, males don't give a funk about those things. But what do I know, I have no shame (and I'm a girl).

Comment & Criticize!


	4. Tick Tock

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

-- 

"You're just a selfish little brat who thinks too highly of himself."

--

Nothing Naruto did made any sense. Too unpredictable, unreadable. And Sasuke was confused.

Why did the boy care so much? In the hospital when he kept Sasuke company. In the rain by actually inviting him into his own home to warm up in the same bathtub as him. And at the same time he was supposed to despise Sasuke. It didn't make sense, Sasuke didn't understand.

The fact that Naruto had cared wasn't helping at all, it made him feel worse. Sasuke hadn't cared, never cared about anyone but himself. Others wellbeing didn't matter, it was insignificant.

"What part of 'I _want nothing to do with you_' did you not understand?"

Naruto wasn't that happy to see him, when was he ever? But the boy had come, again, to the roof when he asked someone to ask for him. Why had the boy come, why did he care so much about others? Why, why, why.

"I brought your clothes back."

The annoyed look disappeared immediately from the boy's face, to be replaced with a somewhat sheepish expression.

"Oh, right."

The bag was handed over and their hands brushed a bit. They were cold, Naruto's hands.

Naruto didn't say anything, just turned around, ready to leave. But Sasuke wasn't ready to see him leave yet. He wanted to know, _needed_ to know; otherwise the questions would haunt him, never giving him a rest.

He grabbed Naruto's wrist, preventing him from leaving. He felt the boy tense immediately and it felt awful. He had touched the boy so many times with hurtful intentions that Naruto's body knew to be afraid of him, even if his mind wasn't. It was automatic, Naruto was _used_ to it, actually _used_ to getting beaten up by him and Sasuke clutched his chest because it stung. He let go of Naruto's wrist.

The boy stood still, back facing Sasuke, breathing in deep. Sasuke was hesitant but he needed to know.

"Why do you care so much?"

Naruto shifted a little but didn't answer, didn't turn to face him.

"Why did you stay in the hospital with me?"

"I already told you that."

"Why didn't you just leave me in the rain?"

"Because I'm not a cold-hearted bastard like you."

"Why did you share the damn bath with me?"

"Because we were both freezing from the rain and I didn't trust you enough to leave you alone in my home while I take a bath and I might've gotten some sick pleasure watching you squirm uncomfortably."

He wasn't satisfied. That didn't explain anything. He still couldn't clearly see what the other was thinking, his reasons for doing caring things for someone who didn't deserve them.

"Then why-"

"Why, why, why!!"

Naruto turned around and glared at him, his hands trembling, fisted.

"I owe you no answers or explanations, Uchiha."

Sasuke knew that, but why wouldn't the boy see that he really needed to know. He wanted to understand the boy; wanted to understand why he wanted to understand. And it was all so frustrating.

"Just tell me-!"

"Shut up!"

Naruto was trembling more now. It was getting harder to control his anger. The more he kept staring at the Uchiha's irritating face in front of him the more he felt like all that anger would burst. And the expression on the other's face was frustrated and demanding and it annoyed Naruto.

Naruto felt like running.

"What the hell does all that even matter? Why can't you see that this isn't just about you, it has never been about you. _I_ want you to leave me alone, to get the fuck out of _my_ life!"

The Uchiha kept staring, face as stoic as ever and it felt so frustrating to get no reaction out of him. Naruto wanted to punch him so bad, to make the skin around those eyes purple, to break those perfect teeth and make sure his nose was beyond repair. His fist was trembling and it was so hard to control himself.

"It isn't about you. Just leave me alone before I go too far and regret it."

Naruto shut his eyes and took a few calming breaths. It wouldn't do any good, being around the Uchiha. He would lose control sooner or later and he didn't want that. He had been restraining the angry monster inside him for all these years; he wouldn't let it take control now.

Numbing his brains, that would help. Just stop thinking about anything, stop feeling anything. That's what he had done every time Sasuke was there. That's how he managed to take all that shit without losing control of himself.

A ticking time bomb.

"So, be unselfish for once in your life and leave me alone."

He wasn't stopped this time as he walked away; once again leaving the Uchiha behind, hoping that this was the last time he had to confront the other.

--

"What will make you understand that your existence is just a nuisance for me?"

--

Sighing, Naruto opened his locker. It was kind of refreshing to know that it wouldn't be filled with hate mail or with other unpleasant things. Seriously, people really needed better hobbies. But even with the lack of unpleasant things, it wasn't exactly empty today either.

There was a small badly folded flower origami, resting on a note. To be honest, it was more suspicious than anything else that had been put there before. Because it almost looked like something nice, cute even.

Taking the note along with the flower, he folded the piece of paper open, words _'I refuse'_ meeting him.

Naruto cocked an eyebrow. It didn't make any sense; maybe someone had just put it in a wrong locker. That would make more sense that the words anyway.

"Naruto."

A feminine voice called from behind. Turning around, he saw Haruno Sakura looking at him, actually talking to him, along with her friend Ino.

At some point he had really fancied the pink-haired girl, thought she was pretty and sweet. Well, pretty was still the correct adjective to use but she was anything but sweet. Figures, she was with that Uchiha bastard anyway. All looks and status, that pair. So vain.

"Haruno."

She brought her perfectly manicured fingers in front of her mouth and giggled.

"No need to be so formal."

"Is there a reason you're talking to me?"

She looked offended; a pout on her face, but the image was ruined by the small smile still playing on her lips. Naruto felt his temper rise.

"Well, you're invited to a party we're throwing."

"What, you lack a piñata? Sorry to disappoint you ladies, but I'm not filled with candy."

Sakura wasn't smiling anymore. Naruto was. A sarcastic smile added with a sarcastic tone.

"Good day to the two of you."

Sakura watched Naruto walk away, blowing a bubble of her bubblegum, letting it pop. Turning around, she walked a couple of turns and smiled when she saw her wonderful Sasuke.

"He didn't wanna come."

Ino rolled her eyes.

"The answer was kind of obvious to begin with."

"Yeah. Why'd you wanna invite that reject anyway, Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't answer. Maybe he had known that Naruto wouldn't come, even if Sakura asked. It had just been another attempt to make amends. To make the blond feel like he was now accepted and liked by even the most popular kids.

But of course the boy didn't care about those things. Of course he was suspicious about them and Sasuke felt stupid for even thinking that it would have worked. For once, he felt like getting drunk with his friends and not just leave while still sober.

--

"You make me lose sight of what is me. I don't want that to happen."

--

He didn't know why he did it, why others did it. Didn't get what was so fun to lose control of his body, pass out in unknown places and then wake up feeling absolutely horrible. The idea repulsed him.

The idea of waking up in your own vomit and the idea how you talked about it for a week, telling everyone willing, or not willing, to listen, laughing at how disgusting it all was. And Sasuke hated to lose control of things, of his body and feelings.

But he wasn't in control anymore. He hadn't been in a long while. And the idea of drowning his horrible feelings of not being in control in alcohol was becoming more and more tempting.

It wasn't about him anymore. Not about him and the horrible feelings he wanted to get rid of. It was all about Naruto. The boy had invaded his mind, leaving little space for other thoughts. By thinking of the blond, he thought of himself. Make the other feel better and he himself would feel better. Almost as if he suddenly existed through Naruto.

And the thought of alcohol was even more welcomed, just to forget about that face for awhile. To feel something different or nothing at all, anything but the hateful feeling of not being in control…

Taking a sip, he grimaced. The liquid burned his throat as always. But it would be worth it, he thought. Worth forgetting Naruto. But then, he'd lose control of his body and everything around him because of Naruto. And Naruto was controlling everything about him again.

Sasuke put the glass away, wanting to bang his head to the table so hard that either the table broke or his head split in half.

His friends were already at that stage he usually left them in, drunk and happy and Sakura was making out with some dark-haired boy, too drunk to tell the difference between him and Sasuke. Too drunk to care even if she was aware.

He should leave, repeat the same pattern as always, go home and hope he'd get some sleep that night. Standing up, he looked around him to make sure that everyone was still alive when he left, and then walked out from the front door. No one noticed him leave, they never did.

The night was cold, but it wasn't raining this time. The neighbourhood was better than the one he had gone and got stabbed in. Breathing in deep, he started walking towards home, cursing for not bringing his car. He never brought it, always planning on getting too drunk to drive back. Never really ending up too drunk.

_Stupid child never learns._

Itachi's words echoed in his head. Stupid wasn't a pretty word, he preferred inconsiderate bastard.

Walking down the unoccupied streets, he was lost in thought, almost missing the nearing footsteps. But he did hear them, and they were fast, running in his direction. For a moment, memories of the night he was stabbed flooded into his mind and he quickly turned around, searching for the person responsible of the steps.

And it was Naruto, Naruto was there. Naruto was always there; always everywhere and suddenly it felt irritating. Couldn't the boy just leave his mind, could he not appear everywhere, running into Sasuke on these cold nights?

He stared at the approaching boy, wondering what would happen, what he would say when Naruto reached him. But Naruto didn't say anything, just ran past him as if he hadn't even noticed him. And Sasuke wanted to scream, wanted to be noticed by the loser in control of his entire mind.

Sasuke ran after him.

"Wait!"

"No. I need to run."

Sasuke tried to catch up but somehow Naruto stayed a couple of steps ahead of him, leaving Sasuke to chase after him.

"Just stop for a moment."

"I can't. Not in your presence. I _have_ to run."

Sasuke didn't understand. Was the other just really obsessed in running, wanting to finish his laps before he could stop? But he couldn't follow if that was the case, because Sasuke was better in fast, short distance dashes than in long runs.

They entered a park and Naruto seemed very keen on losing him behind him.

"Just leave me alone, Uchiha!"

"I refuse."

And Sasuke sprinted, jumped, took a hold of the boy and both of them fell to the ground, Naruto struggling under him.

"What the fuck!? Get the hell off of me you freaking prick!"

"Shut up! I wouldn't have to do this if you'd just stopped!"

"You don't understand anything! I _need_ to run!"

"And I need to talk to you so sit still and listen!"

Naruto managed to struggle from underneath him, but Sasuke still had a firm grip on his shoulder and sat on Naruto's legs, preventing him from leaving.

"Go screw yourself! I don't have to listen to anything you have to say!"

They were both angry, yelling their lungs out, fists trembling, knuckles white, resisting the urge to punch the other. Trying to not to lose control.

"I'll make you listen-!"

"Get off of my legs-!"

"Shut up-!"

"Fuck you-!"

"Get out of my head-!"

"Get out of my life-!"

"I hate you-!"

"You fucking disgust me-!"

"I don't even know why I'm wasting my time on a pathetic loser like you-!"

He wasn't sure what he was yelling anymore. Not sure which of them had screamed what. His lungs hurt and his head hurt and his heart hurt. Why did he always go too far? Why couldn't he just do what the boy wanted and leave him alone? Why couldn't Naruto leave his thoughts alone?

And he felt so awful, hated himself for everything he had ever said and done to the blond. Hated for always repeating same mistakes like a stupid child. Hated his already fisted hand that was ready to punch the boy again and again.

But it never had the change to land, because for the first time it was Naruto's fist that connected with Sasuke's cheek in a painful punch, and for a moment, it almost looked like Naruto's eyes changed colour.

The park fell silent.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

I have to confess that I have no idea what the sentences in the scene gaps are... but I guess you didn't need to hear that, silly me.

Comment & Criticize!


	5. Enjoying oneself

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

-- 

"I loved every second of it and hate myself because of it."

--

Sasuke brought his hand to the still prickling cheek, letting the situation sink in. It hurt, Naruto's punch, but it felt good too. Like receiving something he deserved, had been waiting for a long time. A critical movement from Naruto, proving that he could fight back, proving Sasuke just how much it hurt to be punched. Proved that it hurt them both, that they should stop and lower their fists.

And yet, his first reaction was to punch back.

Because pride was interfering again. Saying that if he was punched he should punch back. That he shouldn't let someone like Naruto get the better of him. Because even if he did deserve it, he shouldn't let the other just punch him out of nowhere, without his _permission_.

Grabbing the blond's collar, he raised his other fist, but it didn't contact with Naruto's cheek either. Naruto's hand had caught it just before he would have landed a punch. The grip around his hand tightened painfully and Naruto was smiling at him. Smiling again and he hated it.

"You poor Uchiha. Surprised it hurts to be punched?"

Naruto's voice was cold but playful, making him shiver slightly. The other was enjoying this, he could see. Enjoying it to an inhuman degree and Sasuke should stop it, let it drop and walk away but pride said to keep on fighting.

Naruto's smirk grew wider; actually amused of Sasuke's desperate yet determined expression. An expression he was about to beat so that only desperation was left. Something he would greatly enjoy doing, yet knew he would regret later on. But he lived in the moment and at the moment it was a very tempting thing to do.

Naruto licked his lips and Sasuke didn't like the look in his eyes, not at all. He looked like a cat playing with its food. Naruto leaned closer and Sasuke winched, leaning back but the hold Naruto still had on his hand prevented him from backing away too far. Pressing his lips against the Uchiha's ear, Naruto's smirk grew as he whispered.

"Scream."

And Sasuke didn't have any time to even register what the boy had said, no time to prepare in order to not to let a humiliating scream fill the otherwise silent park. Naruto's hold on his fisted hand tightened even more, making the pressure unbearable, it feeling like his hand was crushing. It hurt and then there was a sickening crushing sound and it hurt even more and Naruto was laughing.

Quickly fisting his free hand, he brought it up and punched the boy onto the face. That didn't make Naruto to let go, but he stopped laughing, frowning at him. Sasuke just wanted his hand to be let go so he punched again.

"Let go!"

After the third hit his hand was freed and Sasuke quickly backed away from Naruto, clutching his injured hand to his chest. His fingers were dislocated and his body was trembling from the burst of adrenaline. Naruto wiped his abused cheek and stood up, eyes never leaving Sasuke's.

"Why so startled, Uchiha? You had it coming for years; don't tell me you're not ready to play this game if the other player is actually enjoying himself?"

And Sasuke blinked and Naruto was everywhere, kicking his legs, making his body to fall onto the ground. At his side, watching down at him, ready to kick his side if he hadn't rolled away to avoid the damage. In front of him when he stood up again, his fist connecting with his cheek again while his own pale, uninjured fist was pressed against Naruto's stomach, making the other grunt painfully but not lose his composure. Naruto's knee collided painfully with his stomach, making his vision blur for a second and his body almost fold in two.

"I don't want to hit you but it feels so good."

Naruto's voice wasn't amused anymore as he hit the Uchiha's back with both of his arms, making the boy to fall to the ground again. Sasuke grabbed Naruto's legs before the other had time to kick him and made him lose balance, making Naruto fall to the ground too. And they were rolling on the ground, beating the shit out of each other and it hurt and nothing made sense anymore.

"I don't want to hurt you but it feels so goddamn satisfying!"

It hadn't made any sense from to begin with. And their fight continued on, their knuckles turning raw and he wanted it to stop, for Naruto to stop and for himself to stop. And yet, his body wouldn't comply, his fist in the air again, ready to hit the other again.

It wasn't until he felt like he couldn't move a finger anymore when everything seemed to have stopped. Naruto was laying beside him, in no better condition than he was, their breathing equally ragged, vaporizing in the cold night air. It hurt everywhere and it was cold and the ground was hard but it all seemed insignificant now.

"I feel so empty now."

Naruto's voice seemed rather normal, considering the fact that Sasuke couldn't speak at all. If Sasuke had the energy to turn his head and look, he'd have seen a small smile on Naruto's beaten lips.

"I think I just got rid of all that rage without running."

The blond sat up, winching when his injuries stung every time a small movement was made and Sasuke didn't know where the boy got the energy to move.

"We should do this more often, right?"

He could see something blue and yellow against the night sky and light laughter made its way to his ears. Sasuke closed his eyes.

"Thank you, Sasuke."

But Sasuke was no longer conscious to hear.

--

"The blind can't see your beauty."

--

He was in the hospital again. Only his second visit and he already hated it. Naruto had been right, every sound echoed and everything was just so disturbingly white. Hearing some rustling from beside him, he turned his aching head. Naruto was there, leafing through a magazine.

"You're here again."

"I'm here again."

And the silence was somewhat awkward again, making him want to speak but having nothing to say, Sasuke remained quiet.

Naruto didn't look that bad. Even though his lips and cheeks were bruised and had bandages all over his body, the boy looked to be in a rather good condition despite all the beating he had endured that night they had fought. Naruto just sat there, on the chair beside his bed and looked relaxed, not bothered by all the injuries. Unlike Sasuke, who still hurt all over and wouldn't even think about trying to rise from the bed and guessed he looked worse than Naruto.

"You're staring, Uchiha."

He turned his gaze away, a bit embarrassed for having stared at the boy. But Naruto was there, again, with him, in the hospital.

"Why are you here?"

"Tsk, you ungrateful bastard."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"It sounded like you did."

"You're difficult."

Naruto didn't say anything back, leaving the two of them in silence again, though, Naruto seemed to be anxious about something.

"I'm sorry."

And Sasuke turned slowly to look at the blond, doubting if he had actually heard right.

"For what?"

"For losing it and putting you in hospital condition."

"You shouldn't be, I deserved it."

Naruto put the magazine away and turned to look at him, a frown on his face.

"Well yeah, you did, but that doesn't mean I should feel good about myself for enjoying every moment of it."

"I'm sorry for provoking you."

"Aah! Don't apologize! The one who got beaten up shouldn't be the one to apologize, you moron."

"Hey! As far as I can see, you were beaten up pretty good too, idiot."

"You wish, bastard."

Naruto was chuckling and Sasuke felt his lips grow thinner because of a smirk, making a small cut on them to reopen but he didn't care.

"We're idiots."

"I know."

"I mean, real retards."

"I know."

And they had been exactly that. Stupid. Real idiots for sticking to that destructing relationship of a bully and victim. Real retards for just keeping it on because it was all they knew, not even thinking what might be outside it. Something nice, like this, him lying on a hospital bed with Naruto sitting beside him despite all the things he had done, his relaxing breathing filling the room. And Sasuke felt the need to apologize again.

"I'm sorry, Naruto."

The boy seemed uncomfortable of him actually using his name. Naruto shifted a little, averted his gaze, let out a deep sigh and looked at him again, eyes serious.

"Look, I don't think an apology will just make it all go away. Rather than trying to rebuild something destroyed, why not try and build something entirely new, better?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head, voice now a mere mutter.

"Though, that would mean I'd have to associate more with you, which I'd rather not do. I still think you're an ugly person, Uchiha."

There was a knock on the door before Sasuke had any time to say anything, interrupting them. They both turned to look towards the door.

"Ah, it's the brother. Nice timing."

"Ah, it's the nobody. You keep saving my brother I see?"

Naruto stood up from the chair, ready to leave the two brothers alone again.

"Well, it was only my responsibility to bring him here after beating him to that condition."

Surprisingly, Itachi didn't look at all surprised, only amused and for a moment, Naruto questioned the meaning of brotherly love.

"He probably had it coming."

Sasuke sent a glare his way, Itachi ignored it completely.

"Though, for someone who fought each other to that condition you two seemed to get along just fine a moment ago."

"Yeah, well. It's a one time thing."

Naruto grinned widely and winked at the older Uchiha before walking away without saying anything to the bedridden Sasuke. Itachi watched after the blond for awhile before turning back to look at his little brother, smirking.

"Charming, that one. Wouldn't it be a pity to let him go just like that?"

Sasuke glared again. He could practically taste the bitter irony of the situation and Itachi's words or expression didn't help either. Only made things worse and that bastard knew it, tasting Sasuke's misery. Enjoying it.

He was surrounded by sadists; from his friends to Naruto to his freaking brother. All of them. And Sasuke was the masochist, making stupid choices after another, probably aware that it would hurt later on.

And as Itachi kept on smirking, all he could think that he'd never do anything like that again.

"You're a really stupid child, aren't you, Sasuke?"

_Never again._

* * *

_ To Be Continued..._

Meh. I think I'm more suited for oneshots. I just lose focus on longer fics. ::rolls around::

Oh, and I just can't write fighting scenes! Can't, can't, really can't.

And you guys! You have something against poor Saskay, don't you!? I mean, what's with all the '_make him suffer!_'s

::Awkward silence::

Okay, so, that was exactly what I was thinking, make him suffer, that foolish boy XD. I love Itachi!

Oh! Comment and Criticize, please.


	6. Feelings

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

-- 

"Even if you never looked at me, I've looked long enough to know that I like what I see."

--

Sasuke stared at her green and, at the moment, watery eyes. Despite that he and Sakura had been a couple for about three years now, he had never actually looked her into the eyes, stared at them and seen how beautifully green they actually were. But green wasn't really his colour, he preferred black, white and… blue.

Sakura sobbed again and Sasuke let out a long sigh. She was being overly dramatic and he was trying to do the right thing for once; to be a better person, to change that something in him that Naruto had called ugly. Sakura should understand, it wasn't like there had ever been something between them. It wasn't like they were in love. They just were together because that's what people around them expected from them. The popular boy and the popular girl.

"Let's break up."

And yet, she kept sobbing, shaking and sniffing. Why didn't she understand that it was the right thing to do? It was only a superficial reason to be together.

"Why?"

She'd actually be able to run to another boy straight away, not having to come back with the excuse that she had been simply too drunk and it had been an accident. Not that Sasuke had ever cared.

Her eyes were pleading for an answer. Wide and watery, hurt and betrayal clearly seen in them. But Sasuke knew better, knew enough that it was just an act. Inside she was just as calm as he was on the outside, had known this was coming for years. Sakura should understand that them being together had never meant anything more than a status symbol.

"I don't need you anymore."

The sound of slapping echoed in the now silent hallway, followed with footsteps, someone running away. Sasuke raised his hand to his cheek. It hadn't hurt, none of it. He almost couldn't even feel the slap Sakura had planted on his left cheek. After all, Naruto's punch hurt that much more.

--

"I liked everything about you. The way you walk, speak, your thoughts and your faults."

--

The schoolyard was already empty when Naruto arrived, smiling a bit to himself. That's him, always just on time. Never too early and never late.

And just as he finished thinking that thought, irony came and slapped him right into the face.

He was walking towards the school until a sobbing sound made him stop and turn to look into the direction the sound had come from. Someone was crying, someone was sad or hurt and Naruto didn't really want anyone to cry by themselves. It just wasn't nice.

Approaching the sound, he found Sakura crouched down beneath a tree, sobbing to her hands and for a moment, Naruto actually considered just walking away and pretend he hadn't seen anything. But she was crying and Naruto hated himself for caring too much.

"Are you alright?"

Her body tensed a little, startled at the voice. Slowly, she turned to look at Naruto, her eyes not as red as he had expected them to be. She wiped the rest of her tears and smiled weakly.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Naruto fidgeted, wanting to leave before the bell rang, announcing he was late. But Sakura's smile faltered and she looked a bit sad, absentmindedly playing with the hem of her skirt. Feeling defeated, Naruto let out a long sigh and crouched beside Sakura, surprising her even more.

"But you're crying."

Sakura remained silent for a moment, trying to decide if she should just scorn at the boy and tell him to mind his own business and piss off. But then, there was someone sincere beside her, honestly concerned and willing to listen and even if that someone was Naruto, the reject, she shouldn't get rid of something so rare. Rare because she knew Ino would listen but be happy at the same time, glad that Sasuke was free again. She liked him, wanted him, but had only stepped back because Sasuke's finger had pointed at Sakura.

No, Naruto's sincere ears were too precious to just toss away. She would rant until they bled and she felt better. Naruto kept glancing at his watch, becoming more impatient by the second but Sakura didn't care. It was Naruto's fault for asking.

"Sasuke left me."

And all the sympathy and concern Naruto had held in his eyes disappeared, gone and away. He stared at her for a moment with extreme boredom, then sighing and standing up, ready to leave.

"Wait! You can't just leave!"

"I'm going to be late for class. Good luck crying over that bastard."

Huffing, Sakura crossed her arms in front of her chest, sadness long gone, replaced with annoyance.

"Men, you're all pigs. One made me cry and the other just walks away."

Naruto stopped and looked at her, partly amused. He really should just leave her and walk away. He owed the girl nothing, she had been anything but nice to him and her issues had something to do with Sasuke. The person Naruto didn't necessarily want to hear anything about. After all, Naruto already knew he was a total bastard.

There really was no reason for him to stay and he was about to continue his way back to school but the bell rang, announcing that he was already late. Naruto could practically feel Sakura's victorious smirk behind him and had to resist the urge to slap a hand to his forehead…had to resist really, really hard.

"So, since you're already late, why not skip the whole class?"

Naruto gave her a dry look.

"And spend the time listening to someone like you rant of someone like Uchiha? No thanks."

Sakura looked slightly offended, though, it wasn't like Naruto's words weren't true.

"Come on, let's go to the park near here. I'll buy you an ice cream and everything."

Naruto raised an eyebrow in a bored manner, silently asking her if she really thought he could be bought with ice cream. She looked determined and hopeful, though, and Naruto found it very hard to say no to her.

--

"And you threw it all away like trash. You broke my heart, Sasuke."

--

"He just said it so casually."

"Uh-huh."

"Though it was obvious that he never even liked me."

"M-hm."

"But I really did like him."

Naruto tried to tune her out, giving a nod or some grunt of acknowledgement from now and then. Like promised, he had actually received the ice cream. Heck, she had gotten an expensive one with candy on top of it and Naruto tried to remember if he had actually ever even eaten such a luxurious ice cream. Maybe having to listen to the distant blabbering of Sakura's was worth it after all.

"I even tried to make him jealous but he just didn't care!"

She stopped her ranting for a moment to observe the boy she had sort of forced to listen. Not that he was intently listening, but that didn't really matter, Sakura felt better either way.

"Aren't you going to comfort me in any way?"

She meant it more to tease him but the look on Naruto's face told her that he had perhaps taken it seriously, his eyes questioning if she was serious.

"You want me to say that you shouldn't cry because he's not worth it? Get real Haruno, you two suited each other perfectly."

Sakura was gaping, trying to think what would be the right thing to say or to even think. Naruto really didn't have even an ounce of sympathy to spare for her. He kept licking his ice cream, ignoring her staring.

She felt like she should feel angry, but it wasn't like she had been proving Naruto wrong all those years. Both Sasuke and she were less kind people, at least in Naruto's eyes. But still, she felt the need to say something snappy back. If not to prove the boy wrong, then at least to not to totally lose her face in front of the reject.

Leaning back on the bench, she let out a somewhat frustrated sigh.

"You shouldn't be so mean to me. You obviously don't know how it feels to be left like that."

Naruto didn't say anything, but she could swear she felt the mood darken.

--

"There is always someone who has it worse. You snotty brats are just too blind to see that."

--

They walked back together. The schoolyard was filled with students again and everyone stared. Sakura walked confidently, knowing none of them had the guts to later on comment about her current choice of company. Naruto could care less, used to not being liked, to be stared at and talked about behind his back.

They didn't speak when they walked through the crowd, ignoring everyone around them. However, even when Sakura was seemingly confident she couldn't help but feel a bit awkward beside the blond. The silence was unnerving her and she felt like she should say something, anything.

Or use the boy more than she had already done, she thought as she saw a familiar figure looming in the direction they were currently heading towards.

She stopped suddenly, making Naruto look at her questioningly. With a final glance towards that direction, she smiled brightly at Naruto and grabbed both of his hands to hers, swinging them lightly. A gesture Naruto seemed to dislike greatly but she didn't care. It wasn't about Naruto; it was about making Sasuke jealous.

And Sasuke was walking towards them with an unpleased expression on his face.

"I really want to thank you for listening to me, Naruto."

Naruto hadn't noticed the approaching Uchiha yet, unaware what she was doing and Sakura cheered in her head.

"I feel so much better now."

The boy blinked and then smiled. Although it was a small smile, hardly noticeable and lasted only for a couple seconds, it was there. A warm and sincere smile that actually reached the boys eyes and that took Sakura by surprise. It was beautiful and she could almost feel her cheeks heat up.

Sasuke had reached them, staring at Naruto intently. Sakura had to shake her head to be able to concentrate on the matter again.

"What do you want Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't say anything to her, just kept quietly looking at Naruto who in turn looked even more displeased than when Sakura had grabbed his hands.

"It's already too late you know. You already left me."

Although, Sakura knew it was never too late. She would go back to him in a heartbeat, but Sasuke didn't know that. Let the boy regret and beg her back.

But that wasn't why Sasuke was there. She was of no interest to him, except what she was doing with Naruto of all people. If she had told Naruto how he left her and Naruto would misunderstand his intentions because the pink-haired girl didn't choose her words carefully.

"I didn't come to see you, Sakura."

Sakura's shoulders slumped after yet another rejection she had gotten from the dark-haired boy.

"You're an asshole."

She was surprised of the coldness of Naruto's tone. And the way he was speaking to Sasuke Uchiha of all people. One would think that all these years would have taught the blond to treat the Uchiha with respect and caution.

"Leaving her just because you didn't _need_ her anymore? That's just downright cruel, even from someone like you."

Sasuke sighed, his gaze dropping to the ground, making him look like a child that had wronged. Lifting his head up, he stared at Naruto again with somewhat tired and frustrated eyes.

"I knew you'd misunderstand if you heard it from her."

Naruto rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"What's there to misunderstand? You're a fucked-up child with no desire to understand that other people have feelings too."

Anger flashed trough Sasuke's eyes and Sakura backed away a little, joining the other students in observing where the situation would end up in. It wasn't really about her they were talking about anymore. Naruto wasn't exactly standing up to her but more likely using her to say something against Sasuke.

"You really don't understand anything of this, you idiot."

"Oh! So I'm the idiot for comforting a girl whose heart you broke by throwing her away like she was trash!?"

"I was trying to _change_ things! I was trying to fix the mistake of being with someone because of superficial reasons. You might've noticed that I didn't exactly like her."

Naruto let out a cold, dry laugh and Sakura felt a shiver run down her spine. It wasn't because of Sasuke's seemingly unintentionally hurtful words. It was because of the blond's sudden change in attitude. Sasuke made something ugly in Naruto to rise into the surface and although Sakura had never in her life cared about the blond boy, she didn't like it.

"The way you think is disgusting, Uchiha."

Sasuke's frustration grew and he fisted his hands, a reaction that came almost every time he talked to Naruto. A reaction that didn't go unnoticed by Naruto; and Naruto smiled that cold smile of his. Sasuke hated that smile.

_Don't smile!_

"What's this, Uchiha? Want to hit me again?"

Naruto's voice was taunting as he took a step closer to the slightly trembling boy.

"See? That's all you know what to do when things don't go your way. Hit people. Beat them up until you get what you want. Like a stupid child having a tantrum."

Sasuke wanted to hit. Needed to hit so badly but that would ruin everything. Ruin the already ruined forgiveness he was trying to get from Naruto.

_Never again, never again, never again_.

"When will you learn?"

He closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths. He shouldn't let Naruto's words affect him so much. He shouldn't let _Naruto_ affect him so much. Slowly opening his eyes, he was staring at Naruto's blue eyes again.

"I'm-"

Sasuke didn't realise he was talking through gritted teeth; he really needed to calm down.

"I'm sorry that I'm _trying_ to do the right thing for once. I'm _sorry_ that my ways don't match your ideals, but I still want to try."

Naruto wasn't smiling anymore. Wasn't even looking at Sasuke but wasn't angry either. If Sasuke had known better, he would have said that Naruto was a bit startled even.

And that's what Naruto was. Startled. Because he didn't want Sasuke, or anyone at that matter, to believe that he was some kind of a hypocrite who wanted people to abandon their way of doing things and change them into _his_ ideals. True, Sasuke was acted like a spoiled brat with his decisions but that was probably what made Sasuke Sasuke and even though Sasuke was an asshole, Naruto didn't want to be the one responsible for any major changes.

Naruto's_ just_ _a little more_ had already gone too far. Kicking his conscience.

"No…"

The blond still wasn't looking at the dark-haired one, his voice now soft and quiet. That voice made Sasuke calm down immediately, relaxing his muscles and mind. Everything about Naruto was affecting him so much, _too_ much.

"No, it's okay. You're right. Keep doing thing your way."

Naruto started to walk towards the school, still not looking at Sasuke. Though, Sasuke couldn't help but smile a little when Naruto intentionally brushed their shoulders gently when he walked past him. To Sasuke it felt like and apology and a sign that Naruto understood him now a little better. To their audience, who hadn't even heard the whole conversation, it looked more like a daring push to taunt Sasuke more.

--

"If only you'd opened your eyes a little sooner, little brother. If only you weren't always so foolish."

--

When Sasuke was walking out of the school and heading home, there was a person he really didn't want to see, standing there, waiting. It wasn't like Sasuke disliked him; it was just that he felt _inferior_ when he was around.

"What are you doing here Itachi?"

Itachi was leaning against his car, looking cool and thoughtful, but Sasuke knew he was just spacing out. If only the squealing girls were aware of that.

"Something that has nothing to do with you, useless brother."

He hated how Itachi's words always stabbed him in some way. Not like Naruto's, but in different ways that made him feel like a useless human being like Itachi often liked to point out. Of course, Sasuke knew better than to listen and actually believe it, but still, having someone like Itachi constantly telling you that was frustrating.

Itachi's gaze shifted from him to the schoolyard and he pushed himself off the car, calmly walking past Sasuke without a word. Sasuke could care less what his brother did, but as he turned to look where exactly he was going, Sasuke's eyes widened.

Itachi was talking with Naruto. And Naruto looked hesitant and flustered and Sasuke felt something ugly inside him. A mixture of anger and something else that made him want to hurt Itachi. To hurt him so bad he'd know better than to go near Naruto.

But Sasuke didn't know where that had came from, didn't know that feeling. And Itachi was already walking towards his car with Naruto, who merely just spared a glance at him before climbing into Itachi's car.

Sasuke felt panic rise from inside him. What the hell was going on? Why would Naruto just jump into his brother's car when he nearly even glanced at Sasuke. Itachi's expression was blank when he was stopped by Sasuke.

"Where the hell do you think you are taking him?"

But it wasn't blank for long as that sadistic smirk that Sasuke knew too well adored his brother's lips.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Yanking his hand free, Itachi went to the driver's seat of his car and started the engine. Sasuke was left on the schoolyard, watching after the black car that Naruto had voluntarily climbed into.

Sasuke didn't like the feeling he had. He feared for Naruto and hated Itachi more than he had ever before. He didn't like to be left in the dark like this, didn't want anything bad to happen to Naruto.

Because if something happened then it would affect him too.

And Sasuke felt so utterly helpless and useless and cursed both Itachi and Naruto for making him feel that way.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

I got a lovely idea for the story! And it'll help the two of them get together too. It's angsty though. But I fell in love with it! Oh, am I so happy or what? I don't have to write whatever comes to mind anymore because I have a PLAN! A PLOT!! -faints-

Comment & Criticize while you at it!


	7. Broken Aspirin

Disclaimer: No.

* * *

-- 

"Jealous much, little brother?"

--

Sasuke wasn't really sure what he should do. To maybe search the whole town for Naruto and Itachi. But Naruto wasn't some princess; he didn't need saving…as Sasuke had once witnessed in that park. There was nothing Itachi would do that Naruto couldn't handle. Sasuke wasn't_ needed_.

But then, why couldn't he stop the feeling insisting that Naruto had to be found and taken away from Itachi's presence? It was none of his business what they did. Then again, he had a habit on making Naruto's business his. But there was no way he'd find the two of them and Sasuke felt a slight headache coming.

He had been sitting in his car for hours maybe, he wasn't sure, wondering what he should do. There wasn't anything he could really do, so sitting there any more than he had already done would be totally pointless. The thoughts about Naruto were messing his head again.

As he was driving home, he couldn't help but curse himself for not following Itachi's car and scoffed almost as soon as that thought had passed his mind. Sasuke wasn't a stalker; that would be pathetic. He should get a grip on himself…things were getting way out of hand.

Before he realised it, he was already home. And to Sasuke's utmost surprise, so was Itachi. Well, at least his car was there and Sasuke hopped out of his car in a rush, forgetting to lock his car in his hurry. He opened the front door and saw a pair of unrecognisable shoes in the hallway. Sasuke felt his heart flutter a little when he heard sounds coming from the kitchen and he rushed over, not bothering to take his shoes off.

And Naruto was there, in their kitchen, chatting with his mother and Itachi and Sasuke felt so relieved. Itachi looked amused.

"What took you so long, little brother?"

Sasuke glared hard but wasn't surprised when it didn't affect his brother.

"Go put your shoes away and join us, Sasuke."

His mother was smiling, obviously pleased of their guest. Sasuke kept staring at Naruto, who was staring at his mother. He was so relieved.

Sasuke rotated and walked back to the hallway to put his shoes away, not hearing Itachi approach him from behind. Turning around to go back to the kitchen, Sasuke jumped a bit when his brother was standing right in front of him. He cursed his brother.

"What do you want, Itachi?"

Tormenting Sasuke was something Itachi would never get tired of. He smirked a little.

"You looked unhappy when Naruto-kun left with me. Why is that?"

Sasuke fell silent: there was nothing he could say.

…because he wasn't really sure of the answer himself. And for some reason, he found it really hard to look into his brother's eyes.

"Were you afraid that something might happen?"

Sasuke ignored his brother, walking past him, heading towards the kitchen. Itachi followed and they both stopped at the doorway, watching the two figures in the kitchen. His mother was laughing pleasantly and Naruto smiled at her. A gentle smile and Sasuke found it relaxing to watch at. Though, he couldn't help but think that Naruto was slightly hesitant, admiration shining in his eyes. Like he was talking to a superior being, something he worshipped and needed to handle the situation with caution in order to stay in Sasuke's mother's good side. It was odd but Sasuke's mother didn't seem to notice it.

Itachi walked into the kitchen and took a seat beside the blond, snapping Sasuke out of his daze. And as Sasuke was walking towards the table, Naruto actually spared a glance at his direction and smiled. Even if it was a leftover smile from the one Naruto had directed at his mother, it still was a smile and Sasuke felt warm. Because that's what the smile had been; warm, unlike all the other smiles Naruto had directed at him and Sasuke felt a small smile grace his own lips.

His mother poured some juice into a glass and offered it to Sasuke.

"I asked Itachi to bring Naruto over so I could thank him too! He's saved you twice already."

She smiled brightly to the blond who looked flustered, fidgeting a little in his chair.

"I didn't really save him the other time…"

"You're so modest. And adorable! Don't you boys agree?"

Naruto's cheeks were red and he kept staring at the table and Sasuke wondered if Naruto just didn't know how to react to compliments. The insults he could handle but not the compliments? Or then Sasuke was reading into it too much and Naruto was merely embarrassed of being called adorable.

Sasuke shrugged it off and just silently agreed with his mother, watching the persistent blush on Naruto's cheeks.

The evening was over faster than he would have hoped and Sasuke cursed for not coming home right after he had seen Itachi drive off with Naruto. Even though he had hardly listened to half of what the blond was talking about with his mother, it had been nice to listen to. Naruto's voice was just… pleasant.

Sasuke's mother stood up along with Naruto and walked towards the blond with a wide smile. Naruto looked cautious, almost as if he wanted to back away. And when his mother hugged Naruto, thanking him one more time, Naruto tensed visibly. His posture was awkward and stiff and it took a while for him to react and to bring his hands to hug Sasuke's mother back slightly.

And Sasuke wondered just what made the blond behave that way, because he'd personally be tenser around Itachi. Itachi was a suspicious individual when his mother was warm and inviting. But it seemed like Naruto thought the opposite and Sasuke couldn't stop wondering about it.

Itachi went back to his room and their mother stayed in the kitchen, cleaning. Sasuke walked Naruto to the door, wondering if Naruto found the silence awkward as well.

"I can drive you home."

Slowly, Naruto turned to look at him and smiled a little, surprising Sasuke.

"Nah, I think I'll run home."

Sasuke scoffed and Naruto shrugged. He didn't understand Naruto's desire to run, all he knew that the boy really seemed to like it.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

It was awkward saying that. They still didn't associate in school, not in a nice way. Sasuke knew enough to keep a little distance and not just suddenly offer his everlasting friendship to the unwilling blond: that would be just stupid. But still, they would see each other, maybe pass in the hallway and maybe Naruto would even say _hi_ to him. That's all he dared to hope for.

Naruto didn't say anything, just finished putting his shoes on as Sasuke watched. He straightened up and opened the door, giving one last glance towards Sasuke.

"You're really lucky."

The door was closed and Sasuke didn't understand what the boy had meant.

Naruto didn't come to school the next day.

--

"As your mother, I wish for your happiness, Naruto."

--

_Despite the popular belief, Naruto wasn't an orphan. Yes, he lived alone. Yes, his father was dead. But Naruto still had a mother._

_Kushina Uzumaki was the most beautiful woman on earth, Naruto had always thought. Her hair was flaming red and her eyes had a twinkle in them, telling the one who was looking that she would never get bored of life. _

_A faint smell of oil paint always followed her._

_-_

It was autumn already, the leaves in the trees turning yellow and brown, falling down onto the streets. The wind was picking up and he had to pull his jacket tighter around his body in able to warm himself up a bit.

_- _

_She laughed pleasantly at almost everything and always smiled, to everyone and most specifically, to Naruto. Her hands would ruffle Naruto's hair and her lips would tell that Naruto was the most special person in her life. The two of them against the world. _

_-_

The gates of the building Naruto's mother currently resided came in sight and Naruto inhaled the cold air a bit roughly. His nose was cold.

_-_

_Naruto felt like he was the luckiest child alive, even if he didn't have a father. Because his mother was there. His beautiful mother who taught him everything that was necessary to know and Naruto decided that she was the most important person in his life. Always and forever._

_-_

A woman smiled at him and Naruto nodded slightly. Taking his coat off, Naruto wondered if she was hired to smile at people. She always smelled of coffee. Smile and drink coffee. That was her job, Naruto decided.

Naruto opened a familiar door, finding a red-haired woman inside it. She was having difficulties, struggling on trying to braid her now long hair. Naruto chuckled slightly and got her attention.

"Do you need help with that?"

She smiled sweetly.

_-_

_When Naruto later on thought about their relationship, it seemed unhealthy, even at the times when everything had been fine. He had worshipped his mother almost to a point where it could have been called an Oedipus complex._

_But she was still the most important person in Naruto's life. Always and forever. The only family he had left and the one closest to his heart. Even if it was like a rope around his neck._

_-_

Her hair was soft when he brushed it with his fingers. She was humming slightly, the faint scent of oil paint still lingering around her. Naruto finished braiding her hair.

_-_

_Kushina Uzumaki was a bit mentally ill. Naruto wondered if he should have noticed her smiles change the moment his father had died, after all, that's what had slowly shattered her mind. Now she was living in a hospital and was kept happy by feeding pills to her. Pills to keep her happy. And Naruto found it ironic that they were orange, both of their favorite color._

_-_

She smiled at him again. She was always smiling. At nothing in particular, just smiling, because she was happy.

"You're good at this."

"Of course, you taught me after all."

Her eyes looked curious.

"But I haven't met you before."

And Naruto wondered why he kept coming when he got his heart broken every single time.

_-_

_His mother had told him how much she loved Naruto everyday after his father had died. Told that Naruto was important to her, told that she loved Naruto above all else. But she was breaking and Naruto was too young to see it, to understand what was happening. _

_She never talked about it to anyone, kept everything locked inside of her until something broke and her smile changed forever._

_A cold, distant and uncaring smile. _

_Directing that smile at Naruto, she told him that she loved her precious boy, loved Naruto so much but that in the end, she loved herself so much more. Naruto, who reminded her of something she had lost, would be in the way of her happiness. She didn't need him anymore and walked out of Naruto's life. Leaving him alone in the world. _

_She was captured after that and was accused of abandoning her child. Everyone was pointing an angry, accusing finger at her but Naruto didn't want them to blame his most important person. She just wanted to be happy. His mother laughed._

_Someone decided that she was not fit to be one of the society anymore and they locked her away, feeding her those orange pills. On their last meeting, her mother was smiling her true smile one last time. The coldness in it a proof that she was his mother, not the shell of happiness the hospital preferred. _

_His mother gave him a golden framed box and Naruto thought it was beautiful. As expected from his mother._

"_In case you want to be happy again."_

_She said before her time was up and they took her away. Naruto wondered if he really could be happy again. His world had collapsed. His most important person had been taken away and he was alone against the world. But if his mother said that happiness was stuffed into that box, then he would believe her. _

_-_

The woman at the reception desk smiled at him again as Naruto was leaving the building. He didn't even look at her. His head was pounding again, just like after every visit he paid to the hospital.

Filled with resentment and self loathing, Naruto stopped at the gates and inhaled the cold air deeply, eyes tightly closed. He wouldn't cry anymore, he _refused_ to cry.

And Naruto despised himself for the thoughts and wishes that his mother would just stop taking the pills that made her happy. Stop being happy and just stop existing. Leave this world so Naruto could grieve for losing her for real. For not having only an empty shell of his mother he could visit from now and then and get his heartbroken again and again and again.

She didn't remember his father or herself. She had forgotten Naruto and Naruto wondered whether it hurt more to be completely unwanted by his most important person or to be wiped out of her memory, vanish out of her heart.

_-_

"_Love yourself above all else."_

_Naruto's mother had said as a helpful piece of advice in their last moments together. Naruto had seen where that would lead him. He was afraid that he'd become like his mother. Broken and cruel. So Naruto had decided that he'd do exactly the opposite. To care about everyone else above himself. His teacher, Iruka, had once told him that unselfishness was an admirable trait in a person. _

_Though, Naruto had now grown up and was aware that his way of unselfishness had been taken too far and was mostly self destructing. But the determined lifestyle he had picked up as a younger child had tuned into a bad habit and he wasn't even trying to get rid of it. He just didn't care. _

_-_

Naruto buried his face into his hands and tried to keep himself from screaming out loud.

_-_

_Naruto still had the box he had received from his mother. His beautiful, golden framed box containing happiness. It was his treasure, the last thing his mother had given him and even though he was overly curious what was inside of it, he had kept from opening it. Saving it for a very bad day._

_The lid had been kept closed for a surprisingly long time, but Naruto had his limits and had once opened the box. Only once, and he had quickly closed the lid after having his peek. His heart had sunk._

_If Naruto were to care about himself above all else, he feared he'd become like his mother. And then he would have to open the beautiful, golden framed box he had once looked inside of._

_Inside lay a jar full of orange pills. Enough for an overdose._

_Enough to make Naruto happy forever._

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

They are magical fiction pills so I don't think you'll find them on drug stores. Good luck trying, though.

Comment and Criticize!


	8. Blind

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

-- 

"Where is he?"

--

Naruto wasn't there. Naruto wasn't anywhere. Not in the school. Not like Sasuke had been looking for him or anything.

It was none of his business if the blond wasn't there, if he had skipped school. But Naruto wasn't there and he had looked just fine yesterday when chatting happily with Sasuke's mother. There was no need to skip school; Sasuke had made sure it was more pleasant to come, made it unnecessary for Naruto to keep avoiding Sasuke and the group that called themselves his friends.

And Sasuke felt worry fill him, his mind sending him worst case scenarios. Naruto had decided to _run_ home that day. It had been dark already and anything might've happened. But Naruto could take care of himself, Sasuke kept telling himself. Naruto was fine and would give him a cold but amused smile if he knew Sasuke was actually worried over nothing and that wouldn't do.

But Naruto wasn't there.

And Naruto's friend came to him, looking quite unhappy, pushing Sasuke against the lockers when there wasn't anyone around. Sasuke wrinkled his nose in distaste. The boy smelled like dogs and let out a feral growl. Disgusting animal, who dared to touch him, to actually push him against the lockers.

"He calls."

The boy spoke through gritted teeth, snarling, showing his sharp canines. The grip the boy had on Sasuke's collar was going to leave the fabric wrinkled and that alone was a good reason to punch the boy's teeth out.

"He_ always_ calls."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Naruto! He always tells if something's up. What did you do Uchiha? Throw his corpse into the sea?"

Sasuke felt like laughing. No one in their school had any idea what was going on between the two of them.

"Hypocrite."

The boy didn't look happy, not happy at all and he tightened his grip on Sasuke's shirt, pushing his body harder against the lockers. It hurt, but Sasuke showed no signs of pain. That lowly outcast who meant nothing to him would not get the better of him.

"What was that?"

The boy's face was twisted in an angry frown and that made Sasuke smirk.

"You've known for years what's been going on and only _now_ you decide come to me and stand up for him. Some friend you are."

Naruto's friend's gaze fell to the floor and the grip he had on Sasuke's shirt loosened. It had stung, Sasuke should know, Naruto did it all the time. And it stung Sasuke to think that Naruto probably felt the same kind of satisfaction as he was feeling now, while watching the desperate and guilty looking boy.

"He smiles."

It was so quiet that Sasuke hardly even heard it.

"He's always smiling."

The boy gave a sad smile of his own. Sasuke knew Naruto always smiled and maybe he couldn't blame the boy for believing that everything was fine when _nothing_ was fine. Because Naruto obviously hadn't told anyone about saving Sasuke's life that night, he hadn't told them how he kicked Sasuke's ass in that park. He hadn't used it against Sasuke like many would have, a fact that Sasuke should be grateful for.

Naruto just protected his friends and smiled to them, reassuring that everything was fine. Taking all in and never letting anything out. Almost like he didn't trust anyone.

"I don't know where he is."

Sasuke's voice was cold and he pushed the boy further away from him, giving him one last look to make the other know how much it repulsed Sasuke to be in his presence. Fists were clenched but Sasuke ignored it and just walked away. Naruto's friends didn't matter, only Naruto did.

But Naruto wasn't there.

--

"Is that worry I see in your eyes, little brother?"

--

It was stupid, Sasuke was aware, but he couldn't help it. Even though he could barely only admit it to himself, he was worried. That little chat with Naruto's friend had made the feeling even worse and Sasuke didn't like it.

That's probably why had found himself knocking on Naruto's door after school. Naruto wouldn't be thrilled to see him there, but this was about making himself feel better by knowing that everything was fine with the blond. Sasuke just needed to see the boy and be sure he was all right.

The knocks, however, were left unanswered and Sasuke was left without reassurance of the blond's wellbeing. It felt worse than when Itachi had taken the blond away. There really was no telling where the boy was or with who.

_It's none of your business._

He felt like kicking the door in to lessen his frustration. Deciding against it, Sasuke walked back to his car. It was useless, looking for the boy when he had no idea where he was. And Sasuke certainly wasn't searching for him. He just drove around town to pass time. And Sasuke's head didn't turn every time he spotted a blond-haired person from the corner of his eye.

It was stupid and he was desperate and Sasuke cursed Naruto for doing this to him. For making Sasuke do stupid things. It was all Naruto's fault, and Sasuke would find the boy and tell him so.

The days were growing shorter as winter was approaching and it was already dark outside. Sasuke was still driving, lost in thoughts. It was the second time he had passed the park where he and Naruto had fought. He had to stop for the red lights and cursed. It was ridiculous, there weren't any cars beside his and he had to wait. How inconvenient.

Sighing, he glanced at the park again. It was empty and there was trash all around the place. It was just plain dirty and Sasuke didn't like the memory of rolling on the ground.

He spotted someone at the far end of the park, sitting on a bench. Sasuke scoffed, wondering why anyone would sit in that dirty park at that hour, in such a cold weather. It was beyond him and Sasuke didn't even try to understand. It was none of his business if someone wanted to freeze themselves to death. The traffic light turned green.

It took him another two hours to finally drive home. It was late, later that when he usually came home but it didn't really matter. If he didn't make much noise when he came home then no one would complain.

Opening the door quietly, Sasuke snuck in and left his shoes in the hallway. He ignored his grumbling stomach for now and headed to his room, fastening his pace when he saw that the lights were on.

Sasuke opened the door, cursing silently. It was obvious that Itachi had decided to enter it without his permission. He always did things to spite Sasuke. And there he was, lying on his bed lazily, leafing through a magazine.

"My, you came home so late today. Not picking up some bad influence, are we?"

Sasuke glared and wished there was a way to make his brother disappear from his room.

"Get out."

It wasn't surprising when Itachi made no movement to leave.

"At least you didn't come home with your knuckles bruised this time. Have you changed, baby brother? Are you done being a stupid child?"

Sasuke clenched his hands into fists, trying to calm down. He wouldn't be intimidated by his brother. He wouldn't take the bait and be that stupid child his brother always said he was. So he just ignored Itachi, walking to his closed and started to change into something more comfortable.

Itachi kept staring and it felt just a tad disturbing, especially when he started stripping.

"Is there something you want, Itachi?"

Sasuke didn't look at his brother, didn't see the expression on his face.

"I saw Naruto today."

And Sasuke was thankful for facing the other way, for his brother to be unable to see his expression. But his body tensed and that didn't go unnoticed by Itachi.

"What is going on between the two of you, I wonder."

Sasuke gritted his teeth, refusing to turn to look at his brother, hating the teasing, knowing tone he was using.

"None of your business."

"Ah, of course it isn't."

And Itachi was amused. So very amused and Sasuke knew he would be even more sadistically amused if he actually knew the whole story. A story, Sasuke decided, that Itachi would never come to know.

"Did you really see him or are you just messing with me?"

He turned to look at Itachi this time, not actually expecting a serious answer.

"Since when was I ever messing with you, stupid child?"

Deciding that it wasn't worth his time, Sasuke turned around, ready leave the room and go get something to eat, his stomach kept on complaining. Hopefully Itachi would be gone by the time he got back. Itachi just watched, opening his mouth only when Sasuke was about to close the door behind him.

"I did see him, you know. Skipping class. I thought he was a dedicated student, how disappointing."

Sasuke's whole body was complaining now, his entire being hungering for something and it refused to shut up (food seemed irrelevant right now). The lack of information and the craving to know where the hell Naruto was, was leaving a bad taste in his mouth. The taste spreading throughout his entire body, leaving a heavy, bad feeling. And for a moment, Sasuke wondered if he even wanted to know.

"Where?"

"He was walking through a park."

The taste was so foul Sasuke couldn't even swallow anymore.

--

"Look at me, Sasuke"

--

He was invisible to the world. Even the coldness of the night couldn't touch him. Couldn't touch, even when his body was screaming to be warmed up, but Naruto just ignored it. Naruto didn't see it, he refused to look. The coldness was surrounding him and the coldness had slowly crept inside of him.

Naruto was cold, but he _refused_ to see that.

_Everyone only sees what is necessary for them to see, and Naruto is invisible to the world. They walk with blindfolds on their eyes and do not see him even when they touch him hard enough to almost make him fall to the ground. _

_They do not see and in their eyes, Naruto does not exist. They are blind._

Naruto had to skip school that day, because he just couldn't bring himself to smile after the visit to his mother. He didn't visit often, but after having talked to Sasuke's mother he just felt like seeing his own. Because mothers are wonderful, important.

_Blind, but Naruto knows they have eyes. He has seen them. Seen them watching at something necessary, which Naruto was not. But Naruto knew that they just refused to look._

'_Look at me!'_

_(The red-haired woman__ turned to face the other way and refused to look at Naruto. Surely, Naruto had only imagined the red he saw flowing from his mother's eyes, because he wanted to believe that she hadn't ripped her eyes out just to be unable to see Naruto for the rest of her life.)_

In a way it felt like Naruto had already become like his mother. An empty shell of happiness. Because Naruto _had_ to smile. He wasn't Naruto if he didn't smile.

His friends liked his smile, they depended on it and that made Naruto a tad bit proud of himself. It wasn't a completely useless thing to be carrying around. They wanted it and he would be happy to share it with them, with anyone who was willing to look.

But today Naruto didn't feel like smiling. Today Naruto wasn't Naruto but just some blond-haired boy without a name and without a smile. They didn't want that, his friends. Wouldn't want to see him like this because they had befriended the Naruto with an eternal smile.

They'd refuse to look at him, to look at the not smiling part of him, he was sure. They were blind to the other Naruto inside of him. But Naruto didn't blame them for not wanting to see, because Naruto was unwilling to let them. He had made the world blind to him himself.

Blind to the Naruto who constantly kept running his finger on the surface of a beautiful, golden framed box.

_Naruto wishes he would__ have to courage to show all of him, to let his friends know that there is something else lingering behind that eternal smile. But Naruto doesn't have the courage, and the indifferent coldness has already sneaked inside of him._

_But Naruto's heart is warm, still, and it is not blind. And it is screaming for someone to look long enough to see Naruto, to make him exists in this world and to accept all that there is to Naruto._

_It is not blind, even when the coldness is starting to spread even there, trying to make the beating organ to freeze forever. Naruto's heart keeps screaming, because surely, there is someone willing to look long enough so that Naruto doesn't need courage to show all of himself, because they are not blind and will see it for themselves._

"Of course it was you!"

The voice was familiar but Naruto didn't move. He didn't find it necessary to move. Moving took energy and he had none left in him.

"The only fucking idiot who would sit in a dirty park at this hour."

Talking took energy too, along with getting hurt or angry of the offending words. Today Naruto didn't feel like doing anything.

Sasuke let out a long and shaky breath. He just got there and his body was already craving to be taken to a warmer environment. Naruto had sat there for god knows how long, maybe he had frozen still. Was he even alive anymore?

Naruto blinked his eyes and Sasuke felt somewhat relieved. Carefully, he sat on the bench beside Naruto, watching him as if to be wary of any unpredictable movements. But Naruto didn't move and just let Sasuke sit beside him, not caring what he did.

They didn't speak, there was nothing to say. Sasuke's mind wouldn't shut up, though. It kept on screaming to take his body to somewhere warm and to drag Naruto with him, because the boy was probably_ too_ cold.

Sasuke kept looking at Naruto. It was like the coldness had crept into Naruto's eyes too. They were cold, uncaring, as Naruto kept on staring at the sky and Sasuke felt his body shudder a bit.

"Why are you here?"

It took a while for the question to register in Naruto's brain and Naruto thought that perhaps the coldness made him slow down by the minute. He was freezing.

"I'm waiting."

"For what?"

Naruto didn't answer and Sasuke felt uneasy. What could Naruto possibly be waiting for in those conditions? He needed to get Naruto out of there, to force him to move.

"It's freezing, Naruto. I'll drive you home."

Naruto didn't move and Sasuke didn't know what to do.

_Make it easy for yourself and just walk away_.

Sasuke didn't move either. He couldn't move, he couldn't leave the blond alone in the park because Naruto mattered more that he wanted the boy to matter. Naruto's eyes looked so cold, like he wanted to cry but just couldn't.

"It's obvious everything's not all right with you but I'm sure you can clear your head indoors. Come on, Naruto, let's go."

Naruto wasn't sure what he was waiting for but it felt like it was already close. His body had stopped shaking from the cold and it was starting to feel warmer. Sasuke's voice held desperation in it, but Naruto didn't hear it.

"Whatever it is, it's going to be all right, Naruto. It's okay, so let's just leave."

And Naruto felt the lukewarm feeling spread throughout his body as his body slumped to lean against Sasuke's. Sasuke winched at the sudden contact and the coldness of Naruto's body against his.

"I was waiting."

Naruto's eyes were closed and his body felt so much warmer now. It could've been from hypothermia, but Naruto didn't care.

"Waiting for someone to tell me it's going to be all right."

Naruto turned to look at the boy he was leaning against, and Sasuke was looking right back. His dark eyes staring into Naruto's blue.

_And his heart was cheering, because someone had taken off the blindfold and was looking at Naruto_.

In this world, there are two kinds of people: selfish bastards and (those who deny it) hypocrites. Naruto never had any trouble admitting he was a selfish bastard. He didn't want Sasuke to be there. _Sasuke_ of all people to see him like this and say the words he wanted to hear the most. It was unfair, he didn't want that.

But beggars can't be choosers and Sasuke hadn't turned to look into another direction yet.

Naruto couldn't control it when the corners of his lips insisted on tugging upwards.

"I'm freezing. Let's go, Sasuke."

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

Uh, let's just say that I was feeling, erm, _artistic_ in the middle of the night. XD

I haven't given you enough love for all the reviews have I? Am I a horrible author?! Well, I seriously didn't think it'd get so many reviews, so thank you very much! They make me happy. :D

Comment & Criticize!


	9. Trust

Disclaimer: I disclaim.

* * *

-- 

"Quit pushing me away. I'm not going anywhere, Naruto."

--

_The coldness took a hold of his skin and slowly crawled inside. It found__ the muscles and made them shiver. It froze the blood and dug a way even deeper into the boy's body. It found the core, the white bones that kept the child together and built a nest. It refused to leave even if the skin and the muscles and the blood got warm again. _

_It stayed there, r__ooted to the bones_.

Naruto couldn't stop shivering. Not when he had gotten into Sasuke's warm car. Not when Sasuke had managed to drag him into Naruto's apartment and wrap blankets around him. It was like his body was trying to shake the persistent coldness away.

His body wouldn't stop and Naruto hated it. He wanted it to stop; he _needed_ it to stop because he hated Sasuke's concerned eyes on him. Naruto hated them and closed his own.

"You can leave now."

"I'm not leaving."

Naruto's heart was like water. It kept him alive and could make him drown in unexpected, un_wanted_ emotions. And it was killing Naruto that it kept beating faster every time Sasuke laid his eyes on him. _Traitorous heart_.

Sasuke didn't sound at all pleased of Naruto's command-like suggestion.

"I'm grateful that you brought me home but I really want you to leave now."

"I refuse."

Naruto's heart was like water. It would freeze in cold temperatures and it would boil over and fade away if the one warming it up wasn't careful enough with it. And Naruto hated how the words that Sasuke had randomly decided to say had felt so good to hear. _Desperate little boy_.

No one knew how humiliatingly desperate Naruto had been to hear those words. Even though it was from a person he was supposed to hate, even though it was at a time when _nothing_ was okay. The words held comfort and hope, although Naruto knew they were all false. But it didn't stop it from feeling good.

It still bothered him that it was Sasuke who had said those words, told him that everything was alright. Because even if Naruto's disobeying heart was spreading pathetic happiness throughout his body, Naruto's mind was still being rational and was screaming that Uchiha Sasuke wasn't supposed to be there. Uchiha Sasuke wasn't supposed to be so close and tell those things that made Naruto's heart so happy because Naruto had been looking long enough to know that even Haruno Sakura would be a better choice. But Sasuke was there when no one else was. Sasuke was_ there_.

And Naruto didn't know if he kept telling Sasuke to go away because that's what his mind wanted or because his heartbeat sped up every time Sasuke replied that he wasn't going anywhere.

"I don't-"

"I'll stay."

And Sasuke wasn't leaving, wasn't going anywhere where Naruto wasn't. Because Naruto was cold and Sasuke was there. And Naruto had called him Sasuke, by his first name! He kept his steady gaze on the blond boy.

Naruto's head disappeared under the blankets, like a child hiding from the monsters at night. Sasuke wasn't a monster, not anymore, never again. Sasuke was like a god with an all seeing eye. Naruto was starting to feel like a book that was left open for the bastard to read. And Naruto hated himself for feeling so goddamn happy.

Naruto kept shaking under the blankets and Sasuke didn't know what to do. So utterly, completely useless. So he just stood there, watching. The only thing Naruto expected from him was that he'd leave, and that he wouldn't do.

"Don't look at me."

Naruto's voice sounded weak, more like a plea. Sasuke couldn't look away.

"I don't want you to see me."

He needed to make Sasuke go away, because Naruto wanted to believe that it wasn't right. Naruto wanted to believe that Sasuke shouldn't be there even if he was. Naruto shouldn't let Sasuke see all of himself. He ignored the hope and happiness the others presence had spread through him and tried convince himself that he'd rather be alone.

"Just leave me to lick my own wounds like you did so many times before."

Sasuke kept watching the shaking bundle of blankets and didn't move. Naruto's words stung like usually. But Sasuke felt something darker this time. Something that came from the deepest pit of his being.

'_The boy has issues._'

He felt sick.

'_Make it easier for yourself and walk away._'

"You pushed my head into a fucking toilet bowl and tried to flush away the last drop of dignity I had left…"

'_The__ boy is on the brink, there's no need for you to get involved. Just walk away_.'

Sasuke's body was tense, his movements stiff when he took a step. Then another. It was sickening, it was disgusting. The way Naruto made him feel about himself. The way his selfish subconscious kept on thinking.

'_Forgetting is easy_.'

"Made me go to that building with all those white rooms."

'_It can't hurt to turn your back on him one more time_.'

The thoughts were like poison. Spread through his body and paralyzed him. If he moved too much then it would only spread even faster. The words told him to move and Sasuke's body was moving, spreading the poison.

Sasuke knew the ugly thoughts were true. He knew that getting involved would make his life more complicated, would give him head and heart ache. He had broken the one rule he had set while doing those things to Naruto.

_Don't get too involved_.

And there he was, way too involved, the ugly being in him telling that now was the last opportunity to walk away once and for all. Walk away from Naruto's eerie sanctuary that was, oddly enough, filled with numerous oil paintings. They gave him an ominous feeling and made the apartment look more like a storage room for them.

Sasuke wanted to ask about them, but he wouldn't notice, he would ignore and ask about them later. Because the poison was spreading and his steps were becoming more confident.

He stopped in front of Naruto's bed, took a hold of the blankets still covering Naruto and pulled them away, revealing the boy who had hid under them. The boy refused to look at him.

It might've been true that walking away from this boy would make his life easier, relaxed and free of worries. But Naruto had already dug his way too deep into Sasuke's being that forgetting wasn't possible anymore.

"Naruto…"

Surely, Naruto was the one to remove the poison. Being unselfish would distil the poison his selfishness had spread.

The bed creaked under the extra weight, as Sasuke climbed on it. Naruto's heart sped up and he felt slightly panicked but still refused to open his eyes and look at the Uchiha. Sasuke wasn't faring any better, he felt nervous to the extent that his hands were shaking slightly. But he couldn't let Naruto know that because that would make it seem like Sasuke was hesitant.

They were both sitting on the bed, Sasuke facing Naruto who still refused to look at him. He put his pale hand on Naruto's trembling shoulder, feeling the blonde's body tense. It didn't matter, Sasuke moved on and pushed Naruto down, so that he laid on his back. Naruto's eyes snapped open but Sasuke didn't dare to look at them now. They held too many negative emotions, he was sure.

Sasuke took a hold of the blankets he had removed off the boy earlier and pulled them to cover them both, while he let his body collapse on top of Naruto's. And even though Naruto gave a surprised yelp and tried to push him away, Sasuke remained unmoving. Trying to cover every inch of Naruto's body with his own. Trying to shelter Naruto from the world with his entire being.

'_Everything's alright'_ wasn't just a sentence. He would make Naruto _feel_ what it was, what it meant.

"I won't go away."

Naruto's breathing was ragged and it tickled Sasuke's neck.

"I won't ask you to like me or to even smile at me. I just want you to accept me. Accept that I'm here."

Naruto's heart was like water. It could freeze and it could fade away. It was dry from all that time spent without emotion and now it was flooding because there was too much. Too much to keep it all in and the water from Naruto's heart started pouring out.

"You can hate me if you must, just accept me."

Naruto couldn't stop crying and Naruto couldn't stop shaking. His heart kept screaming and body started yearning. Sasuke pressed him harder against the mattress and tightened his hold on Naruto to strengthen the barrier he had tried to create to shield Naruto from the world.

Somehow, after the chains of events, it felt like their hearts became connected. Addicted, _obsessed_. Against their will and against all rational thinking, they became connected and if Sasuke decided to walk away it would hurt them both. If Naruto shut himself away any further, it would leave them both wounded and bleeding.

An unexplainable bond; and Naruto couldn't stop crying because Sasuke had seen most of him and was still there, holding his hands, warming his legs with his own, breathing into his hair.

It felt like Naruto wasn't alone anymore and he couldn't stop crying because it felt so damn good.

_The coldness fled from its nest, because the whole being of the boy had started to warm up. There was no place for it to stay, so it left, loosened its hold from the bones and vanished. The boy smiled because he had never felt __so warm before._

--

"Those smiles of yours won't give the answer I want to hear, Naruto."

--

"Achoo!"

"…"

"…Achoo!"

"You're kind of pathetic."

"Whose fault do you think this is!?"

Naruto chuckled as he brought the Uchiha another box of tissues to blow his nose with.

"Well, they say that the best way to get rid of a cold is by giving it to someone else."

Sasuke glared at him but it didn't affect Naruto, he just grinned wider.

"You gave it to me before you even caught it. Logic would say that you'd be the one sick right now."

The Uchiha was sitting on Naruto's bed, wrapped in the blankets that had been covering Naruto before. They had fallen asleep, Sasuke on top of Naruto. Needless to say, the morning had been quite awkward with a lot of spluttering and stuttering and gaze avoiding. Until Sasuke had sneezed and Naruto's awkwardness had turned into amusement.

Naruto made an observation that Sasuke wasn't a morning person. The fact that he was sick was probably making things even worse. Yes, Sasuke looked very, very irritated. And pathetic.

"I'm built tough, what can you do?"

There was hardly anything Sasuke could '_do_', so he just glared out of the window. And sneezed. The somewhat childish behaviour made Naruto chuckle as he watched the Uchiha frown. After a while he just settled to watching the dark-haired boy with a content smile. As awkward as it had been, it was really nice to wake up with someone. Although sick and irritated, Uchiha Sasuke was there. Who would've seen it all coming down to this? It had been the last thing on Naruto's '_things that might happen_' list.

One thing had been on that list, though. One thing he had avoided since yesterday. His phone rang. It was one of his friends, Naruto was aware. He hadn't called them and by now they must be panicking.

Sasuke watched the blond drag himself over to the phone.

"Hey, hey, what's up?"

'Where have you been, you goddamn blond!?'

The yelling didn't do any good. Naruto had been wise enough to keep the phone away from his ear.

"Calm down Kiba."

'Calm down!? You could've been dead for all I know! Why didn't you call?'

"Give me more credit that that, geez. I can take care of myself. Some things just came up."

Naruto glanced at Sasuke while playing with the phone wire. The boy was staring at him, probably struggling to stay awake.

'You'll be skipping school today too?'

Sasuke covered his mouth with his hand and sneezed, looking at his hand with a disgusted expression afterwards.

"Yeah, I suppose."

'Everything's really alright then? I'll accept that for now. Otherwise I'd do something stupid again like attack Uchiha on the hallway.'

"Eh, you did that?"

'Hell yeah! I was worried out of my mind.'

He couldn't believe that bastard! Sasuke actually wiped his germ-filled hand on Naruto's blanket. Noticing the look Naruto was giving him, Sasuke gave him a smug smirk.

"What did he do?"

'Just brushed me off, that asshole.'

"Did he now…"

Sasuke was looking around him, taking a good look at Naruto's apartment and the blond had a bad feeling the other would start questioning about all the oil paintings he held there. Little did Naruto know that his gaze landed on the shelf where a golden framed box lay.

Naruto kept talking on the background as Sasuke got up from the bed. It wasn't any of his business but he just had to know. He had to take a closer look.

"Um, Kiba, I've got to go."

Sasuke reached out his hand and was startled that Naruto was so suddenly there, grabbing his hand, preventing Sasuke from reaching any further.

"What are you doing?"

Naruto's expression was unreadable. His voice was heavy and the total change of mood made Sasuke blink. Sure, he had been about to probe around a little but it couldn't be that serious. He turned to look at the shelf again.

"I just wanted to take a look at that."

Naruto followed Sasuke's gaze and stared at the badly folded flower shaped origami (1) that lay beside his box of happiness. Letting go of the Uchiha's wrist he laughed awkwardly.

"Why do you have that?"

Shrugging, Naruto took it from the shelf and looked at it.

"Because someone went through the trouble of making it. Although I have a feeling they accidentally gave it to the wrong person. But still, it would be a shame to toss it away, especially since it's so cute because of the bad folding."

"I think they gave it to the right person."

"You think? How so?"

Sasuke turned around and walked back to Naruto's bed, talking a new tissue and folded it open. Naruto put the origami back on the shelf and walked over to Sasuke, flopping down to sit on the floor.

The other handed him the newly folded tissue with an irritated look caused by the fact that napkins tend to be too soft and floppy. Naruto took it with a smile.

"It's so badly folded. How cute of you."

The tissue-flower origami barely kept its shape, no doubly requiring something as nasty as snot to keep it in place. Sasuke looked away and let out an embarrassed sigh.

"I should know the flower was given to the right person."

Naruto nodded, but kept wondering what had made Sasuke make something like that to him if he was so bad at it. Though, it was a cute gesture, showed that the Uchiha wasn't perfect in _every single thing_.

"It would be a shame to toss this away."

Standing up, he put it next to the other one. Sasuke sneezed behind him.

"Would you like to call your parents?"

"Huh?"

"You'd prefer _I_ call your parents?"

"What are you talking about?"

A heavy sigh was given on Naruto's part. He walked over to the bed and sat down, putting a hand on the Uchiha's forehead.

"You're not well enough to drive and I don't know how to drive, see? Someone has to pick you up."

Sasuke was giving him an impassive stare that made Naruto feel stupid for some reason. Like the bastard was questioning his IQ.

"Didn't you hear anything I said last night?"

"But you're sick! Surely you want to go home to recover?"

That stare changed into a stubborn one and Sasuke dropped to lay on the bed with a huff. It made Naruto wonder if the Uchiha threatened that he'd stop breathing were Naruto to ask him to leave one more time.

Leaning in, Naruto blew air into Sasuke's ear to get his attention. They seemed to be a little too close for comfort in Sasuke's opinion as he turned and their faces were barely inches apart.

How come the Uchiha was so concerned for his personal space now, considering he had invaded Naruto's so throughout last night?

"So, since you refuse to leave, does that mean you'll be living here from now on?"

Silence met his question but Sasuke did provide him with a meaningful look. '_Are you stupid?'_ it questioned inquisitively.

"See? You won't be hanging around constantly anyway, so why don't you go home and rest before you give me that cold of yours."

Sasuke looked like he wanted to protest but nodded anyway. He'd go away for now, but Naruto wouldn't get rid of him for good, that was for sure.

"I suppose I should call my brother. My cell phone is in my jacket. Bring it to me."

Snorting, Naruto stood up and went to get it.

"At once, your majesty."

Sasuke ignored the sarcasm and turned to look at the shelf again. Not the flowers, but the box that lay beside them. It had been so painfully obvious that Naruto had been afraid it was the box Sasuke was about to touch.

What was inside, he couldn't help but wonder.

"There you go."

It was only a seemingly harmless box, but looks were always deceiving. All that matters is what it contained and Sasuke wanted to know. Because Naruto's reaction had been immediate and dark.

"Thanks."

He dialled his brother who agreed to come and pick him up. Naruto was in the kitchen, humming by himself while starting to boil some water. Sasuke was tempted to open the box while Naruto's back was turned but shook the urge away.

He needed to gain Naruto's trust first. Then Naruto would be the one opening it. Naruto would let Sasuke see and Naruto would tell him about the oil paintings too. Sasuke wouldn't have to break Naruto's trust before he even had it. Patience was one of his good traits, after all.

Naruto had made some ramen for himself, eating it in front of Sasuke, not even asking if he wanted some. Not that Sasuke even wanted cup ramen, but still. Naruto could be kind of rude. He heard his brother drive to the yard in front of Naruto's apartment.

"He's here. I'll be going then."

The blond nodded, still swallowing some noodles. Sasuke scowled. Naruto could also be kind of disgusting.

They walked to the door and just as Sasuke was about to step out he turned to Naruto.

"I'll see you in school then."

Naruto shrugged.

"I suppose."

"You'll… greet me in the hallway, right?" _You'll accept me, right?_

Naruto smiled, but didn't confirm what he meant by it. Sasuke sighed. It figured that he was hoping for too much. He opened the door.

"See you later."

"Bye."

--

"I think we're both idiots, Sakura. Me more than you."

--

Sakura was only lately starting to realize just how pathetic she was becoming. Or had been in the first place. Sasuke had been away from school for three days and rumour has it that he'd caught a horrible disease. Of course she didn't believe in those kinds of rumours, but that didn't stop her from being worried.

So, when the Uchiha had came back to school three days later, she had baked cookies for him. _Like a lover would_, she had happily thought. But they weren't together anymore. And Sasuke had just given her a blank stare and reminded her that he didn't even like sweets.

And Sakura couldn't understand exactly what made her go back to the guy who wanted nothing from her. It was like she saw nothing else than just one boy and that was all. Such a narrow world.

She tightened the grip she had on the bag of cookies she had prepared.

"Can I borrow you for a while?"

The group that was standing before her were all glaring. They didn't like her, she was aware. It was enough that one person wasn't glaring, though. That's all Sakura needed.

Naruto stepped forward and walked past her, leaving them all behind. Blinking a few times, she looked between the blond and his unmoving friends who looked just as confused as her.

The blond let out a sigh and turned around to face her.

"Well aren't you coming?"

She nodded and ran after him.

They walked outside, to the tree Sakura had once cried under. It was so odd, being alone with Naruto again. It was odd that Naruto was the first person Sakura thought she wanted to talk with after the shocking realisation of her stupidity.

It was so odd that it felt peaceful to sit with Naruto on the grass. She opened the bag of cookies.

"You… would you like some cookies?"

"The ones Sasuke rejected?"

There was amusement in Naruto's tone, but Sakura still felt like she had offered something horrible to him and the boy didn't approve. She was about to put them away, sad that her cookies were rejected twice already, but Naruto reached out and took one.

"It would be a shame to waste these."

Sakura was surprised but smiled and took one too. Diet be damned.

"So did you want to talk about something? Though, I think a therapist would be a better listener."

He turned to look at her and flinched at the somewhat murderous look on her face. He smiled sheepishly.

"Just a thought."

Sakura sighed and cast her gaze downwards. Playing with a strand of hair with her finger, she wondered what Naruto would think. But then, it shouldn't matter what Naruto thought, she just wanted him to listen.

"I'm an idiot."

"Congratulations."

There was a punch and Naruto discovered that Sakura was by all means not incapable of defending herself. It hurt, his poor head! And she just continued talking all solemnly like nothing had happened.

"Sasuke never cared about me."

"About Sasuke again, huh?"

"I should've moved on years ago but I stood still for such a long time."

"And thus, you are an idiot."

Another punch and to the same spot too. It seemed like sympathy was the way to salvation with this girl.

"I wasted so much time going after him and I'm _still_ going after him. I feel pathetic."

Keep going to a person who only hurts you, Naruto knew what that felt like. He could sympathise. He could comfort the girl and sprout absolute nonsense to her of letting go and moving on. Like he knew what he was talking about. But Naruto would never let go, not like this.

He would never let go of his mother and he would keep on hurting himself because of it.

"Just forget it, forget him, move on."

Total, utter bullshit on Naruto's part. But the best thing about being a human was that they could lie and fake emotions while looking straight into someone's eyes. Or some could, Naruto wasn't necessarily one of them. Lying was hard and lying was wrong.

Blue eyes avoided green ones.

"You've wasted enough of your time. Find someone willing to give something in return."

She fidgeted. Of course, she already knew everything Naruto had said, was aware what would be the right thing to do. Naruto made it sound so easy, though. It couldn't be easy, moving on from something old and familiar. It felt like she had been standing still for so long that she couldn't move her legs properly anymore. Walking alone would be scary, she might fall.

"If I find someone… what if they'll laugh at me?"

"Then you'll laugh at yourself for falling for such a bastard."

Naruto was looking at the clouds, Sakura wasn't aware that it was because he was just avoiding looking at her.

"At myself, huh? Have you ever done that?"

Naruto turned to look at her in the eye. He was smiling but Sakura could help but feel that he left something unsaid.

_Everyday._

"Ah, look, it's Sasuke-bastard."

Said bastard was just walking through the school yard. Sakura felt a slight tug in her chest. Normally she would be there walking with him, but now she was here instead. And Sasuke looked more content without her there. She had been so ignorant.

"Hey, Naruto."

"Hmm?"

"Let's form an anti-Sasuke club."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her strange suggestion. That would make them kind of like comrades. Sasuke spotted them and stopped walking. He kept staring at the two of them and Naruto wondered exactly what his problem was.

Giving a small nod to Sakura as to confirm their new alliance against the staring bastard of a prick, they both shoved their tongues out at him in a childish manner. Sakura huffed and looked away; Naruto grinned widely and waved to the Uchiha who was obviously waiting for him to greet him.

Smirking, Sasuke gave a small wave back and continued walking. Taking another cookie, Naruto leaned back on the tree. Life was starting to seem a bit more amusing.

--

"Trust a little."

--

It was an odd turn of events, Naruto thought, as he played with two pieces of paper. For some reason, he had gotten the phone numbers of two of the most popular kids in his school. Sakura had forced him to take hers and Sasuke had put his in Naruto's locker along with another badly folded origami.

Sakura had also forced Naruto to give her his own number for reason beyond him. Sure, they had their moments but it wasn't like they were friends or anything. Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto, friends? He thought he heard the dogs he walked past laugh at him.

But perhaps it weren't just the dogs that were laughing at him, it seemed like the gods had joined in it as well. Just as he walked through his door, the phone rang.

'Hi, Naruto, it's Sakura!'

And Naruto cursed he hadn't given a fake number instead.

"Can't get enough of me?"

'Moron!'

"Yes, yes, so what's up?"

'Well, you see. Um, Lee asked me out again.'

"Fascinating, do continue."

Naruto wondered if he should buy a wireless phone. It was a shame he had to waste time like this when he could be boiling water.

'Must you be so sarcastic? But anyway, he looks hideous.'

And that he did. Maybe if Rock Lee had been born a few decades earlier, he'd be in style.

"Give him a change."

'I just said he looks hideous, weren't you listening!?'

"If you've already decided that then why are we discussing this?"

Sakura went silent on the other end of the line. Naruto sighed. Why was he suddenly expected to be doing girl talk? Time for some bullshit, it wasn't like Naruto was bad at it.

"It's not like it matters. Beauty will fade and in the end it only matters if you can have endless conversations with him. And as far as I know, Lee can talk. A lot."

'But he has a _bowl_ cut!'

"So you'd rather go out with that Sai guy who likes to talk about penises, calls you a hag but looks damn good?"

'…'

"Exactly. It'd be better to go out with Lee. Who knows, maybe you'll come to accept that the bowl cut is the only thing that actually suits him."

'Alright. Thanks, Naruto. I already agreed to go out with him but I freaked out later on.'

"What? It was already decided!? Goddamn you, woman! That took five minutes of my life."

Five minutes in which the water would already be boiling and his cup ramen almost cooked. Life was not amusing; Naruto would have to change his phone number.

'You're an idiot. But I called to apologize as well.'

_Well this is new_, Naruto dryly thought.

'You're a really nice guy, Naruto. I've been selfish and forced my problems on you, so, if there's anything you want to talk about feel free to call me, alright?'

Girl talk… what would make Sakura see that Naruto was in fact a boy?

"Don't wait for that call."

'You know you can trust me, right?'

It was hard to keep himself from snorting. That girl was getting some weird ideas in her head. Truth was that Naruto would never trust her, or people like her in general. He had a hard time trusting even his friends.

'_I trust you'_ was a hard thing to say. Because trust could be broken so easily and it hurt like hell. It would be better not to trust at all. _Pessimists won't end up disappointed_.

'I'm glad you asked if I was okay the day I cried under that tree. You made me feel so much better about myself. I just feel like I should be returning the favour. So, trust a little, okay?'

"I gotta go, the water is pouring over."

Naruto hung up before Sakura had time to say anything. He wouldn't trust Sakura, even if she promised it'd feel good. He kept playing with the pieces of paper.

Should he trust at all?

--

"I'm trusting too much."

--

Wonder if anyone can get an overdose of pain? Pain can be swallowed down, but it'll leave a forced smile on your face. Pain can be ignored but it'll just build up and kills you.

Luckily, Naruto had a whole jar full of orange pills to make the pain go away. The fear he had had towards that jar had turned into sarcasm, and Naruto knew he wasn't that far from opening the box again. Because, in the end, pain can't be ignored and he was becoming more and more selfish since Sasuke had decided to meddle in his life.

So, one more painful push. Just one and Naruto would open that box or find another cure. He'd let Sasuke decide. Because Sasuke had claimed to be there, to stay there no matter what. Naruto would trust and Naruto would open the box if it went wrong.

'Hello?'

Naruto gripped the phone tighter.

"Sasuke?"

'Naruto? What is it?'

"I…"

Naruto wondered what Sasuke would think if he knew what kind of power he held over Naruto right now.

"I- would you…"

'Would I what?'

Sakura had suggested Naruto should trust and Naruto was trying so hard. Sasuke's impatient tone wasn't helping at all.

Naruto wasn't one to carefully test the ice before stepping on it. Either it held or he fell to the cold water beneath it and drowned. That didn't stop him from _hoping_ that it was thick enough to carry his weight.

"Would you… come see my mother with me?"

There, it was done, the hardest part. Now it was all up to Sasuke. Naruto had never been as nervous before.

Sasuke shifted a little. Naruto just asked him to visit his mother's grave with him, he had heard right, right? He let a small smile grow on his lips. Naruto was starting to trust, if only a little. Or maybe it was more than a little. It was his mother's grave after all.

'I'll come with you.'

He imagined them standing together in the grave yard, Sasuke holding Naruto's hand to comfort him. Naruto could even cry but Sasuke'd still be there and then Sasuke would take Naruto home and Naruto'd trust him enough to tell more about his life. Trust him enough to tell about those oil paintings and that golden framed box.

It was perfect, Sasuke wouldn't let this opportunity go away.

"Thanks, Sasuke."

Hanging up the phone, Naruto closed his eyes and imagined his box of happiness completely covered in badly folded origami. Maybe he wasn't hoping too much, maybe that could happen.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

1. The origami Naruto found from his locker in chapter 4! Do you remember? Did you think it was insignificant? Well, so did I. XD

::Whoring for reviews::

No, well, um. Actually there's something that keeps bothering me. One is that if Sasuke's mind got shifted into Naruto's body and he were to, say, masturbate, would it be labelled as SasuNaru? The other is that the orange pills must have an expiration date and that date must've gone and went already. ::Is bothered::

Comment and Criticize?


	10. A Murder of Crows

**Disclaimer**: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. And I'm no Masashi Kishimoto.

**A/N**: Bend over and call me NoNo-sama, bitches, for the tenth chapter is here! (Ignoring me is also a valid option.)

I'd like to rant a little before we start!

You see, I don't really mind flames or criticism or people telling me that my grammar is not as good as it should be (because I know its not) but when I get a sarcasm oozing comment like "bet you were good at maths :P" I can't help but get really confused. What? What the hell does it mean? Did I make a ridiculous counting mistake at some point? Am I repeating myself? Are they referring to the poll on my profile and how _Drowning_ is the most voted on story yet I keep posting other things? You confuse me. I don't like being confused because I start thinking about weird possibilities and coming with up creepy solutions and theories.

But in case you were wondering, I was somewhat decent at mathematics.

-Confusedly yours; NoNoWriter-

* * *

-- 

"You bastards just keep coming to me."

--

_The vultures had kept their distance, making it seem like they didn't even exist. But there they were, sitting a distance away, eyes on their prey, unblinking. Patient little bastards, waiting for an opportunity, for an easy meal. Striking at the first sign of weakness, taking advantage of injuries, dining on leftovers. _

_The crowd grew in size, casting a dark, ominous shadow over their prey. Today, there had been a sign of weakness. Today, there would be a feast_.

Sasuke looked up from his book, wondering what had blocked the sun. To his dismay, it wasn't a cloud. A cloud he could handle at the moment. Uchiha Sasuke's friends on the other hand… They looked down at him with expressions that made Sasuke wonder if it was going to start raining spit anytime soon.

He had known they would eventually come to him. He hadn't been what they expected him to be lately. Sasuke wasn't beating people up on impulse anymore, and they didn't seem to approve of his sudden change.

So, Sasuke concluded, the vultures had gathered to take away what Sasuke had and didn't seem to want anymore. Power. He knew they wanted it, to be so high up in the social ladder like Sasuke had been. They hadn't dared to try to take it away from him before, but now that Sasuke had apparently _lost his touch_, they had the courage to crawl from their holes and gather together to beat Sasuke down.

'_Pathetic cowards_.'

Naruto watched from a distance a way. He was sitting under the tree with Sakura, pointedly ignoring her monologue on how her date with Rock Lee had gone.

They had been there before the schoolyard had filled with other people. At some point, Sasuke had emerged from the school building, a book in hand. Naruto had received an unapproving frown from the Uchiha, getting the impression that Sasuke didn't necessarily like how Naruto spent time with Sakura of all people. In what Naruto had just shrugged off. He'd spend even more time with the princess from now on, just to spite Sasuke.

For a moment, it had seemed like Sasuke was actually considering on joining them, but in the end had taken off to a different direction, choosing another tree to sit under. They had both then stubbornly decided to ignore one another. That is, until Naruto had seen Uchiha Sasuke's friends approach.

Sasuke stood up, his back facing Naruto and Naruto frowned. The people that had dared to approach Sasuke had nasty expressions on their faces and Naruto didn't like it. Sakura had also turned to look, frowning on what kept Naruto from paying attention to her.

"Is Sasuke being bullied over there?"

Naruto let out a short laugh. Bullied indeed. It looked more like a mutiny.

"I suppose."

They watched in silence for a while. Sakura shifted a bit.

"Should we, I dunno, go and help him?"

Naruto cocked a brow.

"Why?"

That's what he asked, although, he had been planning to interfere in the first place. Sakura shrugged.

"Because he's pretty. That's the only reason I've ever needed."

There was an amused smirk on both of their faces.

"A damsel in distress?"

She nodded. Naruto laughed and stood up, brushing the dirt off his backside.

"Might as well then."

Sakura stood up too and they started to make their way to Sasuke. For now, it looked like they were only saying nasty things to the dark-haired pretty boy. Sasuke answered them by taking a posture that represented extreme boredom and gave out short, dry replies. It figures that Sasuke would be able to act like a complete asshole in any occasion.

Nearing the group, Naruto saw one of them suddenly take a step towards Sasuke and punch him to the shoulder. It had taken the Uchiha by surprise, and he stumbled backwards a bit. Nothing much, it would have been easy and fast to stand up straight again but instead of taking just a few steps backwards before correcting his composure, Sasuke's back met with something firm that made a soft '_oof_' sound and wrapped something around him out of reflex.

His head snapped to look and found Naruto's face. They both blinked.

"Ah, so the loser became your bitch then. No wonder you became so protective of him."

The group laughed, making more apparently amusing gay jokes. Sasuke wasn't paying any mind to them though; for he had long since learned to ignore idiots. However, Naruto, who still had a hold on him, was harder to ignore. He could feel his back starting to warm up, realising just how cold he had been before sharing Naruto's body heat. Maybe sitting outside in autumn hadn't been the best of ideas.

Naruto ignored the way Sasuke tried to wiggle out of his hold without loosing his mask of indifference. It was amusing, really. This would be a chance to mess with the bastard's reputation a bit. It couldn't hurt Naruto's, since he hardly had any. He pulled Sasuke closer, flush against his body and slipped his cold hands inside the pockets of Sasuke's black jacket, resting his chin on Sasuke's right shoulder.

Humiliating Sasuke was reason Naruto would give the world outside. He also felt the possessive need to do it, to help Sasuke deal with his former friends. It had been already two weeks since he had asked Sasuke to come look his mother with him. Naruto needed to gather his courage to actually go there, to show Sasuke just what was going on with him. He had thought that maybe he'd be ready to go this weekend and he'd be damned if these goons were to take that away from him by putting Sasuke in a not presentable stage.

Sure, Sasuke was strong enough to beat down a bunch of people, but there were over ten of Uchiha Sasuke's friends there. Sasuke_ would _get hurt fighting them. Naruto needed to be there to make sure nothing happened to make Sasuke have an excuse why he couldn't come with Naruto on weekend.

He resisted the urge to glare at the idiots who had the most rotten timing, watching at the dark-haired boy as if they had the right to strip him of his power after disappointing them. Although still smiling, Naruto let out a small, possessive growl.

Sasuke was _his_. His to use and his to trust. If Sasuke was going to get beaten, it would be by Naruto's hand and nobody else's. Right now, Sasuke was worth getting in trouble for.

Sasuke tensed even more when he saw from the corner of his eye how Naruto's grin widened.

"You've quite mistaken. If anyone's a bitch, it's Sasuke."

The group had stopped talking ever since Naruto had trapped Sasuke in a better hold, now just giving out weird stares. Naruto heard Sakura give a small giggle behind him.

"Well isn't this cute. Did you come to defend him?"

To Sasuke's disappointment, Naruto didn't have time to answer before another one of them opened their mouth.

"So, we're up against a pretty boy, a loser and a girl."

They laughed.

"This shouldn't be too hard. Once we beat you, Uchiha, we'll be in charge."

Naruto let go of Sasuke and stepped slightly in front of Sakura, not wanting her to be involved. She looked a bit surprised of his protective actions and gave him a small smile before gently pushing him aside and walking to face their opponents.

Without a warning, she drew her fist back, aiming a painful looking punch on the closest standing brunet's face, cracking her knuckles afterwards. Naruto shivered. It felt like her whole aura had changed from the sweet girls that had forced her friendship on him, into the bitchy prep Naruto had viewed her as before things had started to change.

She looked down at the vultures with disgusted superiority and the herd of idiots backed away a bit. The one who had fell to the ground from the impact of the punch was clenching his jaw, backing away further than any of his friends.

"People like you were considered popular only because you hung around Sasuke; you yourselves are nothing but pathetic losers."

She flipped her hair in a snobby manner, other hand resting on her hip.

"Dealing with people like you is a waste of my time, not to speak Sasuke's. Get out of my sight."

One of them took a step forward, about to say something but there came another cracking sound from Sakura's knuckles.

"And if you feel the need to fight, let me tell you that I know the weak spot of every male and I won't hesitate to _crush_ it."

Naruto felt his hands cover his crotch as he watched the group momentarily accept their defeat and walk away, cursing. Sakura turned to face them, making both Naruto and Sasuke flinch a little. She was smiling again as if nothing had happened.

"Shall we go back?"

"…Yes ma'am."

Naruto cautiously followed her back to their tree, pulling the resisting Sasuke with him. They sat down, settling into an awkward silence. The silence was broken however, by a cough.

Looking up, Naruto saw that one person from the group hadn't retreated. He recognised the boy. Naruto was wondering what he had done with the group of Uchiha Sasuke's friends, after all, he wasn't one of them. The dark-haired boy smiled down at him.

It was Sai, not a friend of Sasuke's, but a complete dick all the same. Loyal to no one, an asshole to everyone.

"What do you want?"

The boy's smile didn't falter even when Naruto gave him a suspicious look and Sakura was glaring at him.

"Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Yeah, I do."

"That's a shame."

Sai sat down beside him despite their previous conversation. Naruto resisted the urge to scoot away from the boy who weirded him out.

"What's your problem?"

The boy beside him looked genuinely confused.

"I don't have a problem. What made you think I have a problem?"

"No! I meant-"

"Yes?"

"Ah, never mind."

"I don't mind."

"What?"

"I wasn't minding in the first place so you didn't need to tell me not to mind."

Naruto wasn't sure if this guy was actually serious. Sakura had given up on the glaring and was observing the two with amusement. Sasuke had opened his book, pretending to be ignoring all of them but Naruto thought he saw Sasuke tense a bit when his gaze landed on the Uchiha.

"So, Sai, what brings you here?"

"You."

"Excuse me?"

"You are."

"I'm what?"

"Excused."

He slapped his hand on his forehead, letting out a frustrated growl and Sakura started to giggle. It seemed like simplicity was the way to have a decent kind of conversation with this Sai guy. He took a deep breath.

"You-"

He pointed at Sai.

"-came here to sit with us-"

Wiggling his fingers in air, Naruto tried to demonstrate the progress of walking and sitting down.

"-because of me?"

He finished with pointing at himself. Sai stared for awhile, smile long gone, replaced by an unreadable expression. After awhile, he opened his mouth again.

"You're weird."

"_I'm_ weird!?"

"I just said that."

"You-! I-! Argh!!"

Naruto clutched his hair in agony and fell backward, his back colliding with the cold ground. He would've rolled around but there wasn't that much space between Sai and Sasuke where he had been sitting. At this point, Sakura was holding her stomach, trying to control her burst of laughter.

Pouting, Naruto rolled closer to Sasuke and started to play with his shoelaces. There was a slight twitch on Sasuke's brow as he tried to kick the boy away while still keeping his eye on the book. After having stared at the two of them for a moment, Sakura turned to Sai.

"Really now, Sai. Why did you come here?"

The boy was inspecting Naruto's interaction with the Uchiha closely, slowly turning to look at the girl after she had interrupted his observing.

"Mind your own business, hag."

Naruto sat up and turned to look at Sai accusingly.

"Oh! So you give out normal answers to _her_, huh? What makes it so hard to answer normally to _me_?"

"What's so normal about telling me off and calling me a hag!?"

Naruto opened his mouth to answer the pink-haired princess but the look on Sakura's eyes promised that he hadn't witnessed her full potential yet.

"I came to bond with you, Naruto."

Three pairs of eyes were staring at Sai now, curious and confused.

"Bond? Kind of like… make friends?"

Sai nodded.

"…You're weird."

"So are you. Does that mean it's easier for us to bond since we have something in common?"

"You're actually trying really hard, aren't you?"

"Yes."

And it occurred to Naruto that maybe Sai wasn't necessarily _trying_ to be a complete asshole but was simply just naturally one and therefore couldn't help it. Though, that didn't improve Naruto's view of Sai at all.

He took a look of the people he was currently sitting with. People like them just kept on coming to him, it seemed.

"To hell with it. It's not like adding one more of your kind to my collection is going to hurt. Let's be friends."

He received a smile from Sai that looked a bit more genuine than his earlier ones had been.

"Why'd you wanna, uh, bond with me anyway?"

"Because you were suddenly doing it with a dick like Sasuke and I thought I should give it a try as well since it looked rather interesting."

It was a wonder how easily the insults, or more like suited nicknames, flew out of Sai's mouth. A dick like Sasuke, huh? Naruto grinned. Maybe he'd get along just fine with this Sai guy.

The rest of the school were gossiping about each of their current choice of company, but the ones they were talking about were completely ignorant towards all the questioning and disapproving glances shot at their direction.

--

"I'm afraid that running away is not an option anymore."

--

Naruto tried to calm himself down by inhaling deeply through his nose. But the air was cold and it hurt to breathe it so roughly. Clutching his nose, Naruto cursed.

It was cold and he was nervous and Sasuke wasn't there! Not yet anyway. Possibly because Naruto wasn't right on time like usually but about thirty minutes too early.

They had promised to meet in the same park Sasuke had once picked Naruto from, after Naruto had finally gathered his courage to go_ there_ with Sasuke. Go_ there_, to see his mother of all people. How would Sasuke react? Was Naruto expecting too much from him, all of a sudden just dropping a bomb like this, demanding that he'd react normally and still be there for Naruto?

What the hell was he doing? Naruto slumped down on a bench and clutched his hair. Coming there early didn't do any good. He felt like running away and cancelling everything, call Sasuke that it was nothing and then they could be friends like Naruto was friends with other people. Ignorant people who knew nothing about him. People who he didn't trust and just kept smiling to.

But Sasuke was already more than that. Naruto couldn't really have a casual friendship of ignorance with him anymore. It was either he went all the way through with this or severed their ties completely.

At every passing minute, the second option was starting to sound more and more appealing.

Sighing, Naruto turned to stare at the sky.

Running away now would make him nothing but a coward. And Naruto didn't view himself as one. He'd face it head on this time. _No running_.

Closing his eyes, he let out yet another sigh and ignored his legs that urged to run. He stopped thinking and just concentrated on the wind that was playing with his hair. _Relax, relax_.

"You're here early."

Peering one eye open, Naruto watched as Sasuke approached him, sitting beside him on the bench.

"So are you."

The blond closed his eye and hummed, now more relaxed because the Uchiha was there. Surely, Sasuke wouldn't let him run away if he tried to.

"You look content."

Naruto smiled at Sasuke's comment. Maybe he did, who knows. He must've looked like an emotional wreck before Sasuke came.

"I like the wind."

It was said in an offhanded way, just as randomly as Sasuke's comment on him looking content. But it was the truth nonetheless. Naruto really liked the way wind felt on his skin.

"Is that so?"

Perhaps it was the need to take Sasuke deeper, to let him know more and more about Naruto.

"It feels like a light touch."

Sasuke didn't say anything for a while and Naruto wondered if they should just leave already. But he did say something, in a quiet, almost sulky voice.

"I like fire."

Naruto opened his eyes and gave the Uchiha a questioning look.

"It's just fascinating to watch something burn."

"Tsk, pyromaniac."

He received a glare but Naruto just laughed it off and stood up.

"Shall we go?"

"I could just drive us there, you know."

Despite the slightly complaining tone in his voice, the Uchiha got up and walked up to Naruto, falling in step with him. The cemetery was rather far away, at the edge of the town, and it was cold.

Naruto grinned at him.

"Why? Afraid your fat legs can't walk that far?"

Sasuke frowned, clearly offended.

"My legs aren't fat."

"Oh yeah?"

Suddenly Naruto's hand was on his thigh, squeezing and Sasuke's eyes widened. They both stopped walking and Sasuke grabbed Naruto's wrist to pry his arm off him. There was already the ever present awkwardness lingering in the background whenever they were together and now the idiot blond had to make it grow tenfold without even realising it.

Letting go of the hand he had successfully removed from where it had been unwanted, Sasuke glared. But instead of falling back to its place beside Naruto, the hand grabbed his wrist instead and pulled Sasuke closer.

Struggling would have probably seemed ungraceful, so Sasuke just swallowed his nervousness and lifted his face to look at Naruto. The blond looked thoughtful more than anything.

"Sasuke."

"What?"

The question was sharp and accusing, Naruto figured Sasuke did not approve of this situation. He tried to wiggle his hand free but Naruto just tightened his hold.

"What are we?"

"Huh?"

Naruto kept staring at him and Sasuke cursed the cold air that made his breath frost, proving how his breath had turned into quick and shallow intakes.

"You and me. Are we friends?"

Sasuke snorted, his unsure expression turning into a more confident one.

"Hardly."

He didn't like the word _friend_. He didn't like labelling people like that. The word_ friend_ made him think of a group of nameless and faceless people he had managed to gather during his school years. To him, life was just about dealing with different individuals that hardly had anything to do with any other persons he had to associate with. Collecting names under the term _friend_ felt like herding sheep.

So no, he didn't view Naruto as his friend. Naruto was just Naruto. An individual who had a huge impact on Sasuke. In a league of his own and Sasuke would never compare Naruto to anyone by calling him a _friend_ of all things.

Despite how Naruto didn't view Sasuke as a friend either, he felt hurt.

"Then what am I to you? A charity case? Your bitch?"

To Naruto, Sasuke was a mean, cold hearted bastard he couldn't help but be drawn to. The latter being only when the Uchiha had tried very hard to redeem himself, of course. Naruto still felt the slight need to revenge the dark-haired boy by being snarky at him in school, but when they were alone, he just wanted reassurance that Sasuke really wasn't going anywhere. Maybe he wanted more physical contact. Would Sasuke hug him if he asked?

"I don't do charity cases and I refuse to comment on you being a bitch."

Sasuke's wrist was let free and he started to walk again, Naruto following him sulkily.

"We're just us. What we are and what we do doesn't need a name to describe it."

Naruto sped up his pace a bit so he could walk beside Sasuke.

"So then, since '_we_' aren't labelled under any term, does that mean we are free of all the rules and expectations that come with named things?"

"…I suppose."

"Then it's okay for me to ask for a hug from you!"

Naruto finished with a smile and held his arms wide, waiting for Sasuke's reaction. It should have been okay after Sasuke had announced his logic. It wasn't normal for boys who were friends to hug each other. It was downright weird. But since he and Sasuke weren't under those expectations then it was a-okay for Naruto to yearn for such a thing.

The look on Sasuke's face didn't necessarily agree with him, though. Naruto's request had come out of the blue and left Sasuke in a bit of a shock. He could feel his cheeks heat up a bit.

"What? No!"

The expecting arms dropped to Naruto's sides.

"But you did it before! You slept on top of me!"

"Don't say it out loud! God, you're so embarrassing."

Naruto chuckled and patted a growling Sasuke's head, his cheeks red from embarrassment. It was okay for now, he'd just corner the Uchiha when they were back indoors with no one in sight.

Once again, they started walking, this time in content silence.

Sasuke brushed his hand against Naruto's from now and then and Naruto couldn't help but smile because of the seemingly accidental physical contact between the two. It felt nice.

"Where are you going, Naruto?"

Sasuke frowned. Naruto had seemed to know where he was going so he had just followed the blond but he had taken a wrong turn just now. The cemetery wasn't that way.

"What?"

"Didn't you just take a wrong turn?"

"Uh, no? Do you know where we are going, Sasuke?"

Sasuke stared. The possibility that they weren't really going to a cemetery had never even crossed his mind. Then where were they going? He shook his head. He had _no_ idea where they were going.

"Then just shut up and follow me."

--

"Hope is the first step towards disappointment."

--

The building was sickeningly white and Sasuke dared to guess that it was the same on the inside. It was no wonder Naruto hated the white hospital rooms. Ironically, all the times Sasuke had questioned if Naruto was perhaps mental for not fighting back each time he took a beating from him, came back to his mind as he stared at the mental hospital.

For as long as he had been even vaguely aware of Naruto's existence, he had thought the boy was an orphan. Everyone thought so, after all, no one attended to his parent conference. But then, as he stared at the building and Naruto's sad smile, he could understand why Naruto didn't bother to correct those rumours.

Naruto didn't move; he didn't look at Sasuke or even say anything, just kept on staring at the building ahead of them. Maybe he was waiting for Sasuke to say something, anything. To reassure the blond that he hadn't forced Sasuke to be there but the boy had come out of his own free will, and although reasonably surprised and shocked, Sasuke would walk inside with him instead of turning around and calling it quits.

Sasuke tried to swallow his nervousness. He didn't want to go into that eerie place. Really, really did not want to step inside that building. But as it seemed to him, neither did Naruto, never had wanted to but it was just something that had to be done. So, Sasuke straightened up and clutched Naruto's hand, gently pulling him closer.

Naruto turned to look and silently, they started to walk inside.

The woman at the reception desk smiled at the blond in a familiar manner. Naruto just nodded back and continued walking.

Their shoes squeaked on the waxed floors, an unpleasant sound filling the silent hallway. An artificially sweet smell invaded his nose, just as forced as the smile on Naruto's face.

Naruto stopped in front of a door, took a deep breath and pushed it open. Stepping inside after the blond, Sasuke took a good look at the room.

It was white; walls not padded like Sasuke had expected them to be. So, maybe he had an overly exaggerated image of mental hospitals. It was a small, yet normal room with downright plain furniture. The smell of oil paint lingered in the there.

A redheaded woman sat near the only window in the small room, her back facing them, an empty canvas in front of her and a paintbrush in hand.

She turned around, showing her surprise that the two of them had walked in, but smiled after that. And Sasuke was confused of it all, because the woman, _Naruto's mother_, didn't seem like a person to be locked up in a tiny room such as this.

She was beautiful and her smile was warm. When she stood up from the chair, her eyes showed nothing but love towards Naruto. But while Sasuke kept on wondering, Naruto had tensed. Something was wrong, something _had_ to be wrong. Her smile wasn't happy and distant but filled with something Naruto hadn't seen in years.

"Sasuke."

His voice was merely above a whisper.

"I know I asked you to come here with me but could you… wait in the hallway just for a minute?"

He received a hesitant nod and Sasuke left, closing the door behind him, never noticing the way Naruto's hands were trembling.

His mother was coming towards him, seemingly completely ignorant to the fact that Sasuke had ever been in the room. It was all Naruto she was seeing and the love she held in her eyes made Naruto want to cry.

"You came."

Her voice held more emotion that he could even remember it ever having.

"My memory is a bit hazy but I remember you've been here before. You always came to see me."

There was just so much happiness radiating from her that Naruto let it affect him too. Too much happiness and hope that after all those dark years, there had been a cure to a lonely heart and a broken mind.

His mother smiled and loved and _remembered_!

She stopped in front of him, lifting her warm hand to rest against Naruto's cheek, letting Naruto to lean into the touch and close his eyes. There was just the two of them again. The world didn't seem like a dark and stormy ocean wanting to swallow him whole anymore.

_She'd call him by his name and ruffle his hair_.

Her hand moved and gently brushed his hair. Naruto let out a sigh and leaned in to lean his forehead against hers. But she moved closer.

"My beloved Minato…"

And she leaned in, sealing her lips with his, kissing Naruto, not like a mother should but like a lover would. In his confusion and happiness and the heavy feeling of everything crushing around him, Naruto didn't move back. He couldn't move when his mother pressed closer and exhaled a happy, desperate sigh against his lips.

Naruto couldn't move when she drew back a bit and stroked his cheek affectionately. And Naruto _couldn't move_ because of the sickening feeling spreading through his body that accused him of enjoying every single second of it.

"I'm not Minato."

He gave her a pleading look but it went unnoticed by her blissful happiness.

Please,_ please_, say _my_ name.

"Of course you are."

A smile played on her lips and her eyes looked amused and still very much in love. She leaned in again but Naruto backed away.

"No. I'm Naruto. Please, don't you remember-"

"You're not him."

Her eyes were accusing now and Naruto felt a soul tearing bang of regret fill him. Maybe, if he hadn't said anything, just maybe he could have been Namikaze Minato for her. Because more than anything, Naruto wanted her to smile, he wanted her to be happy and laugh and be in love like she deserved.

"You look like him."

He was good at pretending. Pretending that there was nothing wrong and pretending he held that kind of love towards his mother as his father had. Pretending that it wasn't downright sickening for him to even have those thoughts.

"Just like him."

But it was too late now. She knew. Knew that he wasn't the Minato she remembered. She didn't recognise him, _her own son_.

"Too much."

And it wasn't love anymore, not towards Naruto, never towards him. His mother looked at him with disgust for looking like the love of her life and Naruto couldn't understand how she could not see that _he_ had been born from that love.

She didn't see, didn't recognise, her eyes too blinded by a broken mind and whatever medicines the faculty kept feeding her. And it was breaking Naruto to see her like this. To have his hopes so up high only to be crushed into million tiny pieces.

Again, he couldn't move, even if the touch wasn't gentle and loving but rough and violent, his nerves yelling at him to move away. His mother had taken a paintbrush in her hand, not caring how it was covered in black oil paint as she struck the sharp, metallic edge deeper into the skin of his cheek. She made a line, then another, her eyes looking more and more satisfied after every deep cut she managed stain his face with.

Black paint mixed with the red of his blood, most likely leaving permanent marks on his cheeks to remind Naruto that he was _not_ Namikaze Minato, but Uzumaki Naruto, the greatest masterpiece his mother had ever made. Naruto wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe in so many things right now.

But the world where just his mother and he existed was broken when the door burst open and nurses rushed in while Naruto was pulled back, flush against another body. It was Sasuke who had a hold on him, trying to get him out of the room, away from his mother and Naruto fought desperately to be let go.

In the hallway he realised just how loudly he was screaming, his eyesight blurry because of the tears that wouldn't stop running. But Sasuke wouldn't let go, just held him tighter despite his struggling.

"No!! Mother!"

She was in the room, surrounded by nurses. Their eyes met one last time, hers wide with the spark of recognition. Then the door closed.

Nurses rushed over to him, taking a hold of him and dragging him away. In the middle of screaming and both his cheeks and heart hurting like hell, the only warm touch Naruto truly felt anymore, was Sasuke's hand in his. Sasuke was still there!

They led him to another room and stopped at the door, trying to pry his hand away from Sasuke's.

"We appreciate your concern but there's nothing you can do. Please, let us handle this."

Sasuke looked helplessly between the demanding nurses, who were only trying to do their jobs, and Naruto, who looked desperately at him, _begging_ for him not to let go.

There was scolding and yelling and at some point, their hands weren't joined anymore, Naruto losing the only warm and safe sensation he had left, the door closing between the two of them. Sasuke was left to stand in the hallway, alone and trembling because of the events that had just occurred.

There weren't any screams anymore, no one was wailing and the sounds of the last nurse walking away faded away. Leaving Sasuke in the desperate silence that followed after a catastrophe.

He couldn't shake the betrayed look on Naruto's face out of his mind. Because both of them knew that in the end, it had been Sasuke who had let go.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

I have a feeling it was rushed and lacked detail and emotion. Ah well, I'm too tired to care right now.

**Comment and Criticize!**


	11. Nero

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Note: So yeah, it has been awhile, huh? -is shot-

I'm really sorry! Really! I, uh, think I had a lot of things to say but it's 4AM and I have a flight to catch today so... no. I'm sorry for being so useless about updating my stories. -bow- Thank you to those who are still interested in reading this story.

(It's not beta-ed yet, but it'll be as soon as I get back from my trip. I'm sorry about the mistakes too!)

* * *

_Nero: _

_The famous Roman emperor who "_fiddled while Rome burned"

_Also_

_A Finnish word that translates as 'genius'_

* * *

--

"People like you tend to regret a lot. Wouldn't it be a shame if you were to regret me?"

--

The front door was banged shut so painfully hard that even the windows in Itachi's room shook a little. Sighing, he closed his book and spun around on his computer chair, considering if he should get up or not.

No matter how cool Sasuke thought he was, that bang and rushing steps had been an obvious cry for attention. Really now, such a stupid child.

When the door of Sasuke's room was shut as roughly as the front door, Itachi decided to get up and go see just what kind of an emotional wreck his brother had become. Usually he'd have left such a task for their mother but unfortunately she wasn't home. Trust Sasuke to become difficult when he was in charge.

The hallway was dim and silent like it always had been. Itachi held down the smirk that threatened to grow on his lips at the thought on how classic it would have been if he'd hear Sasuke's sobbing to the hallway. The beginning of a grin died down however, when he felt his barefoot step on something on their supposedly ever-spotless floor. He frowned at the mud stains. Obviously Sasuke hadn't removed his shoes. Where had that boy been running around anyway?

The room wasn't that far from his, and the older Uchiha heir reached his brother's sanctuary in less than a minute, even after having to dodge all the dirt on the floor. Stopping in front of it, he made sure that the other wasn't crying inside, because then, out of consideration for Sasuke's manliness (he really, _really_ didn't want to deal with such an emotional brother), Itachi would have just turned around and left.

The metal handle of the door was cold and touching it with his warm hand sent slight shivers up his arm, but he ignored it and tightened his grip on it enough to be able to open the door. But it turned out that his clever little brother had locked it, what a shame.

Being polite, Itachi knocked.

"Are you alright, baby brother?"

The eerie silence continued to linger in the hallway, not even bothering to echo the spoken words. It didn't respond to the yet another sigh that left Itachi's lips.

_Sometimes the silence was so loud that you could hear the blood rush in your own veins. What a loving home._

His hand slipped into the pocket of his pants and he fished out a key he had grabbed along, assuming he might need it. It fitted the keyhole perfectly and when he turned it and there was a rather loud clicking sound, Itachi hummed approvingly.

"I'm coming in."

Sasuke had gracefully jumped on his bed, curled in foetus position, back facing the door, those dirty, muddy shoes still on. His breathing came in sharp, irregular intakes and it made the older Uchiha wonder if there was something physically wrong with him.

"That's right. Shut yourself in your room and cut your wrists, why don't you?"

"Leave."

The command was instant and quiet. It almost sounded like a plea, but Itachi knew better. His brother didn't turn to look at him, just stayed still and said nothing more. Leaning against the door frame, Itachi opened his mouth again.

"I always thought that you failed as an Uchiha but it seems like today you have failed as a human being. Congratulations."

"Shut up and leave!"

His hands were trembling, fisting the blanket knuckles white, the silent hallway finally answering with a distant hum. This must've been the first time he had seen Sasuke look so pathetic, Itachi thought, as his brother finally turned around to glare at him with angry, _desperate_ eyes.

Looking like a hurt animal did little to raise Itachi's sympathy, though. To him, it was plain obvious how his brother was spoiled enough to just wait for the comfort to come to him and not ask for it.

"You made a mess in the hallway. Is that it, Sasuke? You made a mess and don't know how to clean it up?"

No, Uchiha Mikoto was out of town, which meant the only source of sympathy had left as well.

"I said shut up! Just-"

"Just what?"

"Don't say those things. You don't know what happened. You have no idea-"

"That's right. I know nothing. But I do know you-"

Itachi heaved himself off the door frame, flipping his long ponytail from his shoulders before walking towards Sasuke's computer chair and gracefully sitting on it, spinning around to face his brother.

"And no matter how much you think that you don't need to open up to any of us, you still depend on us being here for you."

Silence followed and eventually Sasuke broke the eye contact, not willing to look any longer. Avoiding eye contact didn't mean his brother could avoid the subject, however, and so Itachi leaned against the chair, getting more comfortable.

"Run into financial trouble, little brother?"

A playful smirk crawled onto his lips when the answer was an annoyed '_no_'.

"Were you bullied?"

Itachi had expected a mocking snort as a response but Sasuke just remained still instead, his stiffened shoulders a clue that he was perhaps getting a little warmer.

"Your girlfriend left you? A perverted teacher molested you at school?"

Sasuke's head snapped to look at him with eyes that begged for him to take him seriously. Or perhaps it was a look that demanded Itachi to get out of his brother's room immediately. Either way, now that the older Uchiha had regained eye contact...

"Is it about Naruto?"

The way Sasuke's eyes widened at that name truly amused him and he almost let out a laugh when his brother turned to look at anything but Itachi. It hadn't even been that hard to guess that all this was about that blond. Sasuke had been a mess back when Itachi had taken Naruto home with him due to their mother's request. Also, he had run to Naruto when Itachi had told him he had seen the boy in the park earlier that day, too.

"So what happened?"

The younger Uchiha remained quiet, still sulking away, curled on his bed. It looked like he was going through an inner battle with his emotions and Itachi saw no need to interfere, so he just silently sat there and inspected his nails.

He was curious though. About Naruto, that is. What made him special enough to get his brother's attention? Either way, the changes in Sasuke kept on amusing him, and so Itachi kept on observing those changes, hoping to see the day his brother became less of a spoiled brat.

Said brother suddenly mumbled something so quietly that it didn't quite reach Itachi's hearing.

"What did you say?"

"I-"

It seemed like Sasuke was still thinking hard, the words slipping through his lips with half paid attention. His tone of voice was tired and rough.

"I wish I never knew him."

Knowing that it made Sasuke feel uncomfortable, Itachi kept on staring. But his brother didn't back down, his voice only gaining more strength.

"I wish I never even met him! Everything would be better that way."

Itachi blinked in disbelief and then sneered. He had asked Naruto if he was friends with Sasuke. The blond had only laughed. Now he understood.

"Get out of my sight."

It was said in mocking disgust. Sasuke said nothing to it, though, only raising his arms to cover his face. Itachi really couldn't care less what kind of inner turmoil his brother was in.

"Saying that kind of a thing is no different from committing a suicide when life gets a little difficult."

"You don't even know what happened!"

"I don't give a shit what happened."

The tone of his voice was steady and serious, confirming that he meant every word he spoke. Really, he didn't care about teenagers issues. It was his baby brother's attitude that annoyed him.

"And I don't care about Naruto either for that matter."

Sasuke lifted his other hand enough to see Itachi from the corner of his eye. He stared in disbelief of what his older brother had just said. But before the boy could speak angry words meant to defend Naruto, the older Uchiha continued.

"I'm not filled with that kind of hypocrisy that would allow me to care about people I don't even know. It'd be a waste of my time."

He smirked at his brother again, leaning forward to rest his chin on his arms.

"And you are like that too, so don't look at me like that."

Covering his face with his arms again, Sasuke let out a frustrated sigh.

"If you don't care then why are we having this conversation?"

"Because you care."

When the silence threatened to step into their conversation once again, Itachi decided to stand up from the chair and go to hover over his pathetic brother. Just to add a bit superior pressure on him. The voice that suddenly came a lot closer than before startled the younger Uchiha and he removed the hands from his face to peer back at his brother.

"That boy is something special to you and hearing you say you regret it all is just downright annoying."

Itachi's dark eyes kept on gazing at Sasuke, making the other feel uncomfortable in the other's shadow. Sasuke waited for him to say something more, but he didn't, just kept on staring so goddamn calmly.

"But... what should I do?"

He moved to sit on the bed, getting away from Itachi's pressuring shadow.

"I don't think there's anything I _can_ do."

Suddenly his hand was grabbed, sheer force pulling him away from the bed and away from his room, guiding him along the hallway he had dirtied while running to his room. The same shoes were still on his feet, only, the mud had dried and now small, hardened pieces of it fell everywhere, increasing the mess.

For now, Itachi would ignore it all though.

"I already told you what to do."

Only when the front door came to sight, did Sasuke start to struggle. But Itachi was still stronger than him, and he couldn't do anything but stumble along, or maybe grab a doorframe and hold onto it with all he had, but that would've been too pathetic.

The front door was opened and Sasuke felt the cold night air hit his face when he stumbled outside and fell over on the ground from the lack of balance. Cursing loudly, the younger Uchiha tuned to glare at his brother. Itachi just sneered down at him while leaning against the door frame.

"Get out of my sight."

And the door was shut with a loud bang, leaving Sasuke alone in the night without his keys or even a jacket to warm him up.

--

"I've seen this so many times I could close my eyes."

_--_

_His life had never been like a dream. Sometimes he wished it was just a nightmare that would end, but it never did, and so he kept on living with his eyes wide open, accepting the reality that was forced upon him. _

_Eventually his eyes glazed over, tired of the never changing sight of misery in front of him, and it became harder to remember how to blink. Staying wide awake, he forgot how to close his eyes._

_And so, the boy forgot how to dream._

Naruto's cheeks throbbed still, even under the bandages the nurses had covered them with. He tried to keep his hands from touching them, as he kept on clumsily running towards home. Leaving the hospital hadn't been that hard, but Naruto wasn't so sure if getting where he wanted to go would be as easy.

His sight kept on blurring and his steps were clumsy, trying to drag him down to the hard asphalt from time to time. But he kept on struggling to get home. He _had_ to get home.

It was enough already. All of it was enough and he couldn't take it anymore. Home was sanctuary and that's where his feet were taking him right now. It was enough.

He struggled with his keys for awhile, stopping to take a breath before turning the key. There was still time to turn around. Still time to run away for a little while longer. But his legs were so tired already. Almost too tired for him to even stand up anymore.

A light breeze played with his hair and he closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against the wooden texture of his front door, halting his hand that had been about to turn the key.

It was calming, like a gentle touch. It never tried to hurt him and the following wind helped him to run faster. Yeah, he could never get enough of the wind.

The faint smell of oil paint crawled through the cracks on his door, slowly invading his senses. It was inviting and gentle, even more so than the wind, and before Naruto knew it, he had already opened the door. Closing it behind him, he stood in his dark apartment where the air stood still, carrying that drugging scent with it.

The blond walked past the paintings of smiling people and lovely sceneries, stopping in front of his shelf. The poorly folded origami still rested there, but there were far too few to actually cover the golden framed box. He snorted at his own stupidity as he brushed them away, taking his treasure to the kitchen with him.

_Expect too much and end up getting disappointed. It was his own fault, really_.

Sitting down at table, he laid the box down in front of him and stared at it. How many times had he imagined this moment? How many times had he dreamed of it and woke up screaming? _It was all enough already_.

His hands trembled when he opened the lid.

_And so, the boy who had forgotten how to close his eyes got tired of it all and forced them shut with forbidden methods. The blissful emptiness seduced and embraced him, and so he kept them closed a little while longer. _

_Just a little bit longer._

_Long enough to make him drown in dreams. Enough to make him forget how to wake up_.

--

"Getting rid of the problem is the same thing as solving it."

--

Sasuke rubbed his hands together to get warmer. He had already run through a list of friends he could go to and stay for a night. Only to remember that they had mostly turned against him in order to get the power he once held over the other students.

This was the only time he truly needed those bastards but they weren't his to use anymore. The only one he could really think of was Naruto. Though Naruto was even more out of the question than his former friends.

Besides, the blond probably hated his guts right now, if he hadn't done so even before the catastrophe of that evening. It had been the last drop. For the both of them, probably.

Thinking about it made Sasuke drown in self loath even more. But what else could have he had done? Naruto had needed treatment and the nurses demanded him to let go. Besides, the situation had been almost impossible for him to handle to begin with.

The pressuring feeling of having to say the right things at the right moment was unnerving, twisting his stomach every time the silence had stretched between the two of them. He had wanted to say something, _anything_, but the words hadn't come and he had felt completely useless.

Besides that, he felt the ugly feeling that Naruto had introduced to him grow at the thought that he didn't even want to be there in the first place. He hadn't known what to say or to do.

And even if he had known the perfect words, it _still_ wouldn't have been enough. Because those problems ran too deep for someone like him to handle. Naruto needed help and he couldn't offer that.

And so, he had wished that all that wouldn't have ever happened. That the source of all those feelings he had went away. _That Naruto would just disappear_.

Sasuke shook his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. He really disgusted himself. It was already too late. They had met and he had gotten too deeply involved. But he had gone with the blond to see his mother despite not wanting to. He wasn't rotten to the core.

Even if he wasn't able to, he still _wanted_ to help. Whether it was to make himself feel better by making the other feel better or just simply wanting to make Naruto happy, he wasn't sure anymore.

Naruto was special to him. Even Itachi had said so. Then maybe he really just wanted to make the other smile by helping him carry that heavy load. He didn't know. When it came to Naruto, he really didn't know.

Sasuke stopped walking when he noticed that he had accidentally walked to Naruto's apartment while deep in thought. He stood on the yard, gazing up longingly at the lit windows. It was probably warm inside.

He was about to turn around and go home back to see if Itachi had gotten over whatever issues he had and would let him inside, but stopped when he saw faint light come from the window he remembered belonging to Naruto's room.

He felt hope and anticipation rise in him, excited at the thought that the boy might actually be home. He could go there and apologize again. That is, if the blond let him in.

He took a few steps towards the building but then stopped as a dreadful feeling suddenly consumed him. Naruto was supposed be in the hospital, still. Then why was there a light in his apartment? Surely, the boy couldn't have left there.

Surely he wouldn't think of doing anything stupid.

With hastened steps, the Uchiha approached the apartment, thoughts of what he should say or do long forgotten. Naruto had just suffered a serious trauma. Well, now that he thought about it, most of his life probably was just one big trauma, but the one that happened in the mental hospital had been witnessed by professionals and Sasuke knew enough that they wouldn't just bandage the boy up and send him home right after that.

It wasn't right.

Knocking on the door, he shifted his weight from his leg to another and then back again, trying to control the impatience and worry that filled him. No one answered his knocks though, and he looked around helplessly, trying to figure out what to do.

Finally he got frustrated and just tried the handle, only to find out that the door had been open all this time. Opening the door, he stepped inside soundlessly, wary of what he would find inside. It might've not been Naruto at all, but a burglar. Though, what a burglar would want from an apartment that was just filled with eerie oil paintings, he didn't know.

He closed the door behind him and stated walking towards where a light came from. The dim light made the paintings look even creepier than they were in daylight. A tanned, blond man that seemed to be in most of the paintings kept watching his every move with a smile on his face. Or so the Uchiha felt, not liking the level his paranoia grew in that house.

"Naruto?"

Sasuke called out as he stepped inside the kitchen. The blond was there, looking like had fell asleep against the kitchen table. Walking closer, Sasuke's gaze shifted from the apparently slumbering blond to the box on the table. He recognized it as the one he had been curious about before.

It was open now. Emptied by Naruto. The boy's still body kept on leaning against the table, head resting against his left arm, the fingers of his right hand slightly touching a jar containing pills. Sasuke's eyes widened.

"Naruto!"

He rushed at the other's side, shaking his body, hoping, _praying_ that he would wake up. Panic hit him full force and for a moment he thought that Naruto wouldn't wake up. But the boy did wake up, his body jolting from the sudden shaking.

Sasuke took a few steps back, his feet almost failing him from the rush of relief that ran through him. Naruto turned to look at him, his eyes cloudy and a smile on his lips.

"Hello, Sasuke."

His tone was airy and carefree, too fake, and it made Sasuke recover from his relief. The blond was alive, but there was still something horribly wrong.

"What the hell are those?"

Naruto's oddly slow reflexes weren't enough to stop Sasuke from taking the jar from the table and look closely at it. The name of whatever was inside it didn't say anything to him, but he didn't need to know what it was to know what it had done to Naruto.

"How many did you take?"

The blond continued smiling and shrugged, his voice a bit slurred.

"One? Two... Five..?"

And the smiling continued even when Sasuke grabbed him by the collar, brining their faces close and glared at the blond with furious disgust. Naruto would have probably smiled in a situation like this anyway, but it was so hollow now. Sasuke couldn't stand it.

"Why would you take something like this!? What if you had taken too much?"

Naruto just looked to his side, the expression on his face never changing.

"I'd be happy forever."

A shiver ran down Sasuke's spine at those words. He didn't want that. He would never want something like that.

The hold he had on Naruto's collar loosened but he didn't pull away. Desperation was crawling back to him, teasing him for being so helpless in a situation like this. In every situation that had something to do with Naruto, really.

"Why'd you wish for something like that?"

The blond was still looking past him, gaze unfocused.

"I could never be him."

He suddenly said, making Sasuke lift his gaze from the floor and look at the boy. Turning around to look at the direction the other was looking around; he saw a lot of the paintings with a blond man that looked a lot like Naruto.

"I guess I-"

His voice cracked a little as he spoke.

"I guess I just wasn't enough."

Maybe there had been a crack in that smile too, but Sasuke turned his head too late to see. Naruto continued to speak, eyes still cloudy.

"I guess I'll never be enough."

The perfect words to make everything all right again wouldn't come. The right things to do didn't exist.

"Then why didn't you just swallow the whole jar?"

"I don't-"

The voice cracked even more than before, the forced emptiness on the boy's face changing a bit. His blue eyes turned to actually look into Sasuke's, getting more focused.

"I don't want to die..."

There was a heavy lump in his throat, demanding to be swallowed down or to be cried out. Brutal honesty was pushing through from wherever it was buried in Naruto. It seemed like the blond himself understood the situation even while still being under the influence of whatever the drugs were that he had taken.

The forced smile stayed on his lips, but his eyes couldn't lie anymore. Sasuke watched helplessly as tears started to drop out.

"I don't want to die."

The blond repeated, looking right into his eyes, as if pleading him to agree with him. Begging him to agree that Naruto had the right to live too.

Feeling like it was the only thing he could do for the blond, Sasuke spread his arms and captured the boy in a hug. He pressed Naruto's body tightly against his and let the boy lean his head against his shoulder and just cry with that still smiling face of his.

The right thing to do, the right thing to say. Sasuke tried to think but his mind was empty.

All he could do was to stare at those hateful paintings that filled the apartment, always reminding Naruto about things shouldn't think about. Naruto's mother had created them, she lived through them. A twisted smirk grew on Sasuke's face.

"I can help you, Naruto. Do you want me to?"

Naruto's hands rose to take a hold of his shirt and there was a low voice at the base of his neck, as the blond hummed his answer against his skin.

Sasuke gently pried the hands away, letting go of the blond as he started to look around him.

"Stand there."

The boy obeyed, his blue eyes observing his movements around the apartment as he kept searching for something usable. He found them from the kitchen drawers and smiled approvingly, as he lit them and set them on Naruto's window, just beneath the curtains.

Naruto kept on watching, not moving or doing anything to stop him. It was like he was in s trance as he watched the light hang onto his curtains, greedily eating them and spreading further, not satisfied until it had consumed everything in its range.

Sasuke stared too, letting the pleasant heat warm up his skin for awhile until it got too hot and he decided it was time to go. He took Naruto by the wrist and tried to pull the unmoving boy along with him, but the other wouldn't budge.

"Come on, Naruto. We have to leave."

Slowly, Naruto turned to look at him, eyes widened a bit as if he had just realised what was happening.

"Fire. My house is on fire, Sasuke!"

The boy started to babble all sort of things, most of which made no sense whatsoever, mostly because he was still so out of it. It took all his strength to force the other to move from the burning house, but the Uchiha did get both of them outside.

The fire alarm had gone off a bit after Sasuke had set the curtains on fire and there were already other people from the building gathered outside, whispering among each other.

Sasuke dragged them further away, trying to kill the smirk on his face. The right thing to do was to get rid of the problem. _She_ had been the problem. Perhaps he was as mad as a sobbing Naruto on drugs, but Sasuke did feel like he had done the right thing.

_Let her burn_.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

I haven't written in so long that I almost forgot what I was doing. Did it satisfy you? This chapter made me think of ways to burn down a house without getting caught AND to make it seem like an accident to fool the insurance company. But I think it was wrong of me to admit that aloud.

**Comment and Criticize!**

(_Her mother would look weirdly at her when she talked about princes who arrived too late and heroes with destructing methods of rescuing. Little did her mother know, that she was in love with reality_.)


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